Photo by mullinst
Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, and check out the archives here.
Mercifully, our new overlord hasn’t changed the look of D.C. too much. People are worried, though.
Overheard of the Week
In Lafayette Square, just across from the White House:
Landscapers are working on the grounds.
Woman passing by: “What are they doing? Replacing the hedges with gold ones?!”
After the jump, cats, dudes, baseball and more.
We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.
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Everything is a gray area with cats
At the West Hyattsville Metro on Saturday morning:
Two early 30s women are talking about their cats: “I wasn’t trying to kick him. I was trying to assert my foot.”
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Do what
At DCA around 9:30 am on Monday:
Two older guys are waiting for a flight.
Guy: “Have I ever told you the difference between me and my sister? She wears a bra, I wear eyeglasses. We’re equally disgusting in every other way.”
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A warning?
Sherry VW in Springfield on the morning of March 4:
Service guy: “We found a knife in your seat [rail]. Had you noticed it was difficult to move it back and forth?”
Car owner: “Yeah. Wait, how did that get there?”
Service guy: “I don’t know…”
Both men look at each other puzzled, then go to the service desk.
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This must end
Union Station Shophouse, Thursday lunch rush:
A sign in the front door announces that they have run out of a popular protein choice.
A 20something man in line expresses his angst: “They’re taking my dreams! And my meatballs!”
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Hmm, good thing or bad?
In the hallway of a federal agency:
One federal worker to another, discussing a report: “I mean, considering the bromance there…”
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Vincent Vega agrees
At the Shake Shack near Gallery Place/Chinatown:
A high school-aged boy is trying to describe his mint cookies and cream shake to friends: “It’s like McDonald’s Shamrock shake… but like high-end.”
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This is a good burn
Two women in their mid-twenties on the Green line:
Friend: “We weren’t allowed to bet on our bracket because an ethics officer said we couldn’t.”
Law Student: “I bet she was a lawyer.”
Friend: “Yeah she was. That’s your future career. Shutting down brackets in offices.”
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Subtlety is hard?
At a Starbucks in Bethesda:
Late 40s/early 50s customer: “Hey, how’s it going today?”
Young 20-somethig barista: “Busy!”
Customer: “Are you going to do me today?”
Barista: “I’m sorry?” (clearly giving the man a chance to rephrase)
Customer: “Are you going to do me today?”
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Parenthood
Outside Cafe Saint-Ex:
Woman to her child, who she’s just brought outside: “Either sit in the corner or wait outside for someone to come kidnap you.”
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Not that legal
Outside Baked and Wired:
A long line of people are waiting in the cold outside of Baked & Wired.
Older couple walks by. Man, in a shocked voice: “Baked & Wired?!” Long pause. “Well, I guess marijuana is legal in DC.”
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Ugh
At Nationals Spring Training in West Palm Beach Florida:
Two older men are talking.
Man 1: “Washington Nationals? Now are these guys from Seattle or the other one?”
Man 2: “Seattle.”
