Photo by Carey Dougan
Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, and check out the archives here.
One of the good things about other people visiting our fair city is, hopefully, that they get exposed to some new things: new people, new ideas, a new understanding of the country, or at least the city. For example:
Overheard of the Week
A spring Sunday morning, corner of 22nd and M:
There’s construction in the immediate area.
A boy about 10-12 years old comes upon some graffiti on the back of a construction sign and begins reading out loud: “The Russian prostitute said when Trump…”
Immediately, his mom appears and screams over him: “WALK”!
The boy, confused, stops and she and the boy cross M Street. The father lags behind to read the graffiti with a “how am I going to explain this” look.
We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.
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No
At Takoda Beer Garden in Shaw during happy hour:
Two guys, late 20s/early 30s, are talking.
Guy 1: “Ok, so let me get this right… Tinder is to gay as Bumble is to straight?”
Guy 2: “Yes.”
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50/50 chance?
April 13th at 6 p.m. near 7th & F Streets NW:
A family of four is walking in the direction of the Verizon Center’s main entrance. Red and white balloons are everywhere. Scores of people are walking around in Capitals jerseys. Guys are flipping signs announcing the start of playoff hockey.
Father, to the family: “Hey kids, looks like the Wizards are playing tonight!”
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Facts do matter
On the National Mall:
Daughter: “Look, mom, the Capitol!”
Mom: “That’s a tour bus.”
Daughter: “No, behind the tour bus.”
Mom: “Oh. Yeah, ok.”
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You’re at the right gate
At DFW airport for a flight back for DCA:
Two people introduce themselves and after shaking hands, the younger college-age guy said to the older guy: “My dad’s an international lawyer.”
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Cool things to do in the big city!
Saturday afternoon on Pennsylvania Ave. by the National Gallery:
A tourist family is trying to hail a cab.
Preteen daughter: “Moooom. You promised me we could Uber before we left D.C.”
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Maybe what they were going for?
At the Arlington Courthouse Starbucks:
A guy in line to his friend, reacting to the baristas promo of the unicorn frappucino: “They’re wearing unicorn horns on their caps. It’s like a strap-on.”
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Bit of a high bar for watching a video, though
Two late-twenties friends, a man and woman, are carrying picnic supplies up the steps in Meridian Hill Park on Easter Sunday:
They’re talking derisively about someone else.
Guy: “Like, did you get shot in the head by the Taliban so young girls could go to school in Pakistan? No. You are not Malala. All you did was go to the gym. I’m NOT watching your video.”
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Not quite the Easter Bunny
Easter Sunday in the Small Mammal House at the National Zoo, at the naked mole rats exhibit:
Kid 1: “Are they dead??”
Kid 2: “Ewwwwww, they’re ugly!!”
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Fact.
On 14th Street in Columbia Heights on Easter Sunday:
Mid-twenties man on the phone, likely walking to brunch: “Just because you sucked a Jewish guy’s d*ck, it doesn’t make you Jewish.”
