Photo by Kai
Kids are funny, except when they aren’t. These kids, though.
Overheard of the Week
D.C. area kids are on a field trip to Jamestown Virginia:
A group of 4th graders are following their guide into a replica tobacco shed from colonial times.
Tour guide: “What is this hanging from the rafters?”
Children: “Weed!”
Tour guide: “What’s that? Tobacco? Yes, it’s tobacco. What is another name for tobacco?”
Children: “Weed!”
Tour guide: “The colonists want to sell goods to England for money. What is a crop that you sell for money called?”
Children: “Cash crop!” (some are still saying weed)
Little boy in the group to his friend: “You can sell weed and make a lot of money.”
After the jump, misguided tourists, misguided bros, and more smart kids.
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That sounds fun?
Saturday night, Midlands Beer Garden patio:
A picnic table full of bros is debating who should buy the next round of beer.
Bro 1: “No way. I bought the drinks for the game.”
Bro 2: “But I bought the drinks as the Adderall for the pregame.”
Bro 3: “The Adderall was clutch.”
——
Nope
Metro Center at 12:15:
A pack of middle-aged tourists are blocking the whole escalator forcing everyone else to wait.
Woman (to her group): “Everyone, we need to stand to the left! THE LEFT! ALWAYS STAND TO THE LEFT!”
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Seems reasonable?
In Mount Pleasant:
Bros walking to a party: “Here’s the deal, if you meet the love of your life at this party tonight, you’re going to have to pay me.”
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If I had a nickel…
Friday lunchtime in Franklin Square Park:
A man is talking loudly to a woman who is sitting on a park bench.
Man: “Smurfette is the only one who wears a shirt. The rest of the Smurfs don’t.”
Woman: (mumbles something inaudible)
Man, storming off in a huff, yells: “Stop talking about the Smurfs!!”
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I mean
At U and 14th intersection:
A young woman remarks to her friend, while gesturing to the surrounding eateries and McDonald’s, “I feel like this must be the Castro of D.C.”
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Touche
Monday at DC9 during a very loud Holy Fuck show:
Dudebro (to girl 5 feet away wearing baseball cap): “I like your hat.”
Girl: (hands cap to boyfriend)
——
Otto’s jacket?
At Rite Aid on Duke Street in Alexandria:
Mother, wrinkling nose: “It smells like fresh plastic or something in here….”
Son, matter-of-factly: “Smells like Bernie Sanders.”
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Coloring outside the lines
At Qualia Coffee:
Some 30-somethings are having what sounds like a work meeting.
Guy: “My son is having a preschool graduation. I don’t even know how that’s possible.”
Lady: “I didn’t even go to preschool. I got kicked out.”
(Laughter)
Lady: “No, really.”
(They all walk off together.)
