Photo by Victoria Pickering
Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, and check out the archives here.
Metro new trains have automatic announcements, and we’ll sorely miss the live, sometimes hilarious, sometimes passive-aggressive (or aggressive-aggressive) train operators when they are no longer heard on the scratchy loudspeakers.
On the Blue/Orange out of Farragut West around 7pm:
Metro train operator, emphatically: “Passengers inside the train, please be advised there are three doors per car and 18 total doors on this train. Feel free, feel encouraged to make use of all the doors. The doors do not have favorites, you can pass through each door freely.”
Later, at L’Enfant Plaza: “Congratulations to the passengers who boarded by the escalator. You used more than one door and yet you all made it on the train. To the passengers inside of the train, this is how it’s done people.”
After the jump, tourists, brunchers, and a lot more.
We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.
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😐
Around Dupont Circle:
Two women in their early twenties chatting and slowly jogging in Lululemon athliesure attire.
One woman to the other: “I mean yeah, it was totally lit A.F.”
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Interesting, tell me more
At the Hilton Pool at Dupont Circle:
Two thirty-something men standing around in the pool, mostly silent.
First man: “What are you wearing tonight?”
Second man: “I was thinking… shirt and pants?”
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Just when we think there’s hope for the future
At the Air and Space Museum on Friday afternoon:
Two girls in their early teens who are part of a field trip group approach a bench shaped like an airplane propeller.
One says to the other: “A fidget spinner bench!”
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Good luck
At the Canal Park outdoor movie, which is Romeo + Juliet (the 1996 version) when they are in the crypt:
Man: “He died like a little b*tch!”
Woman: “Come on, I already told you emotion is not a sign of weakness!”
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We love emoluments!
Crossing 12th St by the Old Post Office/Trump Hotel:
Tourist dad: “Look! There it is!”
Middle-school aged son: “I have tears in my eyes, Dad!” And he runs off to see the hotel.
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This doesn’t seems like it will end well
Corner of 7th and E, NW over lunch:
A well-dressed woman screaming into a Bluetooth headset: “THEY SHOULD TRY IT AGAIN… YEAH… I DON’T KNOW… DID YOU SEE THE GUN, THAT WASN’T HARMLESS…”
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Two weeks too long
In the women’s bathroom at the Atlantic Plumbing cinema before a Wonder Woman showing:
“It’s been like two weeks since I have seen this movie!”
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Get out of jail free card
On Saturday late afternoon on Fulton St. NW in Glover Park:
Some kids throw a water balloon at an SUV driving by. There’s a couple in the car looking like they’re in their 30s.
The guy who was driving stops the car, leans out the window and asks the kids: “Why did you do that?”
The kids shrug.
Guy: “Did your parents vote for Donald Trump?”
Kids: “Nooooooo.”
Guy: “Ok good.” And they drive away.
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Seems about right
On a Metro train:
A jolly Metro employee is giving out brochures: “New service updates for Metro and bus.”
Old man, taking brochure: “Ain’t no good news ever come out of WMATA.”
(Unanimous sigh of approval from the masses on their morning commute.)
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You’re grounded!
Busy Friday afternoon as riders depart a train at the Foggy Bottom/GW Metro station:
A woman in early 40’s is walking with a young boy about 6-7 years old, both swept along in the crowd onto a non-working ascending escalator. Boy excitedly skips up the stairs while the woman huffs and buffs behind. Boy reaches top of stairs.
Boy excitedly says: “Hurry up, you are too slow.”
Woman: “I am, but first I have to walk up these f*cking stairs.”
Boy look back in disgust and yells at top of lungs: “Language!!!!”
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Technically speaking, winter is coming
On Pennsylvania Ave SE during brunch:
A woman in her late 20s or early 30s, sipping on a mimosa: “Well, those dragons will take care of the white walkers, that’s for sure.”
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Right hemisphere
Outside of the Embassy of Latvia, early Friday evening:
A young woman in her 20s is walking with a man who might be her father.
Woman: “This is where the Turkish riots happened recently.”
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