(Photo by kristenstake)
Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, and check out the archives here.
Sometimes it can be awkward to interact with your friends’ significant others. Sometimes there’s a good reason for that.
Overheard of the Week
At a recent Nats game:
Three middle-aged bros watching the game and drinking. One is in from out of town.
First bro: “I’d visit more, but your wife hates me.”
Second bro: “Yeah, she really does.”
(A little later)
First bro: “Why does your wife hate me so much?”
Second bro: “Do you remember the time you were visiting, she came home and yelled to see if anyone was home, but you didn’t answer? Then she walked in on you sitting naked on the couch with a girlie magazine?”
First bro: “No, I don’t remember that.”
Second bro: “Well, she does.”
After the jump, more baseball-related shenanigans, 4th of July, and Pierre Charles l’Enfant.
We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.
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True story
30-something couple walking through Georgetown in the evening:
Man: “It smells good.”
He takes a few more sniffs and clarifies: “It smells like Abercrombie and Fitch!”
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So, yes
On the Red Line around Takoma:
Woman: “All these children showed up to my party and demolished the food!”
Man: “Wait, like children-children?”
Woman: “Well, like 23-year-olds.”
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At the Nats game Tuesday night:
A Cubs and Nats fan are sitting together.
Nats fan: “Bryce Harper just needs to get over the fact that it’s Trea Turner’s team now.”
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Or lots of nudity
At the Nats vs. Reds game on 6/23, which also happened to be “Game of Thrones” night:
Two guys in their mid to late 30’s are talking about Bryce Harper’s recent brawl with Hunter Strickland.
Guy 1: “Dude, I hope we see a bench clearer tonight!”
Guy 2: “Since it’s Game of Thrones night, I wonder if they’ll clear the benches and take to the field wielding swords and shields?”
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Thank you for that expert analysis
5 p.m. at the corner of E St. and New Jersey Ave. NW:
A group of late 20s/early 30s professional types who appear to be in town for a conference are waiting for the light.
Man 1, gesturing towards intersection and speaking authoritatively: “Yeah, you know the guy who designed D.C. also designed… a bunch of other stuff.”
(Group nods)
Man 1: “Yeah, he had a whole strategy behind it.”
Woman 1: “Really? It seems really confusing to me.”
Man 2: “I don’t know… I think it’s kind of… whimsical.”
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Youths these days
On ABC7 at noon on Friday:
Middle-aged weatherman: “The weather will be great this weekend, it’ll be supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.”
Millennial anchor: “All right, I’ll take it; whatever that word is you just made up.”
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Isn’t there always?
Two bros talking to each other at the P Street Whole Foods on Wednesday evening:
One bro notices shoppers exiting the store carrying boxes of La Croix fizzy water.
Bro 1 to Bro 2: “Is there some La Croix party going on?”
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Dad humor, but he’s not wrong
At the exit of the National Zoo:
Family of three tourists gets to exit at top of the zoo.
Dad: “How did they design this thing uphill both ways?”
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Don’t remind us
In the second hour of a 13-hour IAD to Addis Ababa flight:
Little kid, loudly: “Mama, look at the flight map! We have so much farther to go!”
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Was it at a La Croix Party?
At 14th and T NW:
20-something guy to 20-something woman: “I said, ‘Whoa! Where’d you get that gun?’ and he said, ‘From my pocket.'”
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Dark nights, explosions
Near F and 9th:
One 50-60 year-old man to another, probably here for the 4th of July: “I saw one kid who was all… goth like.”
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