Photo by nevermindtheend
Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, and check out the archives here.
Relationships have changed over the years. We didn’t realized they had changed this much.
Overheard of the Week
Two late 20s-ish women having lunch outside of Chop’t at 19th and L:
Woman 1: “So after this weekend, I think I’m ready to take our relationship to the next level.”
Woman 2: “You’re going to move in together?!”
Woman 1: “No—I’m going to ask him to father my dog.”
Woman 2: “OMG that’s so serious! So you’re going to live together?”
Woman 1: “No, he has to prove he has to father my dog first.”
After the jump, dumb office dudes, interns, and more.
We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.
——
A case of the Mazel-days?
On L Street in front of Bruggers Bagels:
Guy 1: “It is always Shabbat Shalom for me.”
Guy 2: “But it’s only Monday!”
——
Yay, work!
At a business meeting:
Female worker to her (male) manager: “Wha … what are you doing? That’s not candy, that’s a tampon!”
——
Betting on sports? Cockfighting?
Saturday morning, Union Market, where a gaggle of late-20s women in athleisure wear are sitting at a picnic table eating Acai bowls
Woman 1: “Can I ask a kinda dumb question? Like what exactly is a white collar crime?”
(Long pause)
Woman 2: “Ummm, I think it’s like when you do something unethical with like a lobbyist?”
(Others nod)
——
Adorable, but also maybe a good thing?
Metro Center Station late on Saturday night, where two 60-something women (most likely tourists) are sitting on a bench waiting for the train:
Woman 1, indicating the station’s unique coffered ceiling design: “It feels like we’re in a futuristic movie, doesn’t it?”
Other lady nods in agreement.
——
Thank you for that useful addition, guy
In a corporate boardroom, talking about the efficacy of forecasting:
Executive woman: “Forecasts are often wrong, yet weather.com is still one of the most popular websites in the world.”
Executive man: “Weather.com is so hot right now. Literally.”
——
Tough to say whose side to be on
At the Trader Joe’s in Fairfax, on Main Street:
In the freezer aisle with candy on the shelves, a younger mom is pushing her toddler daughter in the cart. The little girl starts to yell and point at the candy.
Girl: “THERE! RIGHT THERE, THERE! THERE!”
Mom: “Yes, those are gummy bears, but they’re not organic.”
Girl, keeps yelling: “THOSE!”
Mom: “We only get the organic ones.”
——
Eat before you date
At Vola’s dockside in Alexandria:
Four 17-18 year old women at a table splitting a plate of a dozen wings.
Woman 1: “I think wings are the worst date food.”
Woman 2: “No, food is the worst date food. No one wants to see that.”
——
She’s more of a Nas fan?
At 18th and T, a couple is arguing while getting in a car. The woman is clearly miffed:
Guy: “Well I didn’t just buy Jay-Z tickets for myself!”
——
Could be both?
On 17th and T, a dad is pushing a stroller with a 3 year old in it and sweating like crazy:
3 year old, alarmed: “Daddy’s crying!”
Mom laughs, “No, honey, daddy’s just sweating.”
——
Life is complicated
In a D.C. federal office:
Two late-twenties/early-thirties male colleagues discuss how many children the married guy has:
Single coworker to married coworker: “Wait, so you have twins?”
Married guy: “Yeah, identical twins can happen to anybody.”
Single guy: “Jesus.”
——
More effective than “go to your room”
At the Shirlington Harris Teeter:
Mother with two kids is in line to pay. The oldest boy, around 6 or 7-years-old, is walking around touching everything despite her repeated warnings. He tips over a bag of popcorn close to the register.
Mom, exasperated, picks up the bag: “That’s five minutes off your iPad.”
——
And these are the folks who rate things online
In a nonprofit office in Dupont:
Interns and staff are stuffing fundraising envelopes and talking about movies. Ages range 20-30.
Intern 1: “Did you guys see Avatar?”
Intern 2: “Which one was that?”
[cross talk for 30 seconds as they discuss the plot]
Staffer: “Oh yeah, the BLUE one!”
