Photo by Eric Spiegel
Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, and check out the archives here.
When you’re at a wedding, you want to have fun, but not TOO much fun. You have the find the happy medium.
Overheard of the Week
Midday at Costco:
Two young women in their early 20s are talking.
Woman 1: “So, like, how was the wedding reception?”
Woman 2: “It was fun! I was, like, drunk, but not, like, TOO shitfaced… you know what I mean? I woke up, like, really proud.”
We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.
After the jump, interns, millennial, and office workers.
——
One with 30,000 other attendees
In the club level concourse at Nats Park:
A middle-aged man holds a beer in one hand while cradling a cell phone in the other, talking loudly into it to be heard over the background noise: “Well, I’m in a meeting right now…”
——
Very complicated
At La Colombe in Blagden Alley:
Hip guy in a hat to barista: “I have a question: what’s drip coffee?”
Barista patiently explains all the various ways to make coffee.
——
There is probably at least one carb
In Starbucks by McPherson Square around 3 p.m.:
Young woman talking on her phone: “I feel like if I don’t eat something I’m going to pass out at SoulCycle.”
Barista: “What can I get for you?”
Young woman: “I’ll have a grande iced nonfat vanilla latte, please.”
——
Those who forget history etc. etc.
On the Green line to Greenbelt at about 6 p.m.:
20-something catching up with other 20-something, talking about the weekend.
Youngin 1: “Yeah, I sort of disappeared Friday, a girlfriend and I just did a staycation, we stayed at the Watergate Hotel and ordered room service and went to the spa and pool it was really great and relaxing.”
Youngin 2: “Where’s the Watergate? What is that?”
Youngin 1: “You know, like, the Nixon scandal? It happened there.”
——
The horror
Wednesday evening at Washington Sailing Marina:
A family is standing around after coming in off of paddle boards or sailboats.
Son, about 10 years old, is whining to mother “I want a milkshake” over and over.
Eventually, the mom: “You had a milkshake before dinner and milk during dinner, that’s enough.”
Boy: “But that was a protein shake.”
——
Your phone is trying to tell you something
Outside the Hirshhorn:
Woman with a strong New York accent at a man sheepishly looking at his phone:
“It sent us to a NATIONAL PARK! Not the Hard Rock! This! Is! A! PARK!”
——
Blech
Man talking to woman while they were both running with their dogs in Shaw:
“Every time I have sex now, John Mayer is strumming in the background.”
——
Ya think
Wednesday morning, Capitol Hill:
Interns are on a tour through a Congressional Research Service division of the Library of Congress.
One intern sees the congressional materials lining the wall of the collection they are walking through: “Wow, they have a lot of Congress stuff here.”
——
Motherly patience
Ladies room at FAA Headquarters:
A mother is helping her young daughter in a stall:
“No, honey. What goes in the toilet stays in the toilet.”
——
It’s good to be down-to-earth
In an office in Crystal City
A 50-something mid-tier boss from the south walks into the admin area.
Executive Assistant: “Yes sir?”
Boss guy: “Don’t call me ‘sir,’ it’s like putting an elevator in an outhouse.”
——
The literal version
Saturday night at 7-Eleven in Ballston:
Woman: “… and when life gives you lemons, what do you make?”
Man: “Sacrifices.”
Woman: “Exac— what? No! LEMONADE. You make lemonade! And sacrifices.”
——
Oh, the young people these days
On a Yellow/Green train, late evening:
Two 20-something women are talking. The first woman is explaining that her parents met on a college radio station.
Woman 1: “She had a show.”
Woman 2: “Wait, like she had a radio talk show?”
Woman 1: “No, like a music station, it’s not ALL about NPR.”
Woman 2: [long pause] “…but it is.”
——
Probably a good time for you right now then
On a new Circulator bus:
Man talking about politics: “I like to assign myself as ‘chaotic neutral.’ Because there’s always something that’s bound go to right or wrong, the world is chaos, but because I consider myself a ‘professional teenager,’ I live for chaos.”
(later, same guy)
Talking about a woman he’s seeing: “We are very compatible. But I like protein but I think she’s a vegan. We adore each other. Is it so wrong to be adored?”
——
