Photo by Jay Jay
Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006. Check out the archives here.
You’d think navigation in D.C. would be pretty simple, but some people just don’t get it. Come on, Tony.
Overheard of the Week
In the morning morning in Foggy Bottom:
A woman with a thick New York accent is on her cell phone. There are pauses between each line as the other side talks.
“I’m standing on the corner of 22nd and G.”
“It’s a grid, Tony. The closest street is either 22nd or G.”
“What do you mean? 22nd is between 21st and 23rd and G is well north of F.”
“Listen, Tony, are you really asking me to explain urban planning to you?”
“Okay, okay. Where are you?”
“Are you freaking kidding me? I am standing on a street corner trying to explain the grid system and you are sitting in a Starbucks drinking a freaking cappuccino.”
“Where is the Starbucks?”
“Tony, all Starbucks have an address. You will not convince me that your Starbucks doesn’t have an address.”
“Are you coming?”
“Did I mention I am standing on a street corner waiting for you?”
“Sometimes, Tony, I freaking hate you.”
“Fine. I am walking in that direction.”
“Now you are just trying to annoy me. I hate you, but I am heading towards your Starbucks. You better freaking order me the best god damn cappuccino I have ever had.”
“Love you, too.”
We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.
After the jump, funny youngsters, sassy oldsters and stylish interns.
——
There is still positivity out there
Morning rush hour on the H3 bus:
A mid-40s business-y looking lady is getting off the bus.
Lady to driver: “Thank you, that was great! The bus is the best!”
——
Hmm
Sitting at the bar on a Friday afternoon near Eastern Market:
A late-20s or early-30s woman is talking to a man who’s a bit older.
Woman: “Then I left school to work for Bernie. I’ve worked on two of his campaigns over the years.”
(Then a few minutes later:)
Man: “What was the name of that weirdo from Vermont who ran in the last election?”
Woman: “Are you thinking of Gary Johnson?”
——
Spotted: Yuppie Doc Brown?
8 p.m. at 14th and U:
A Volvo station wagon with D.C. plates drives by. It has vanity plates: “E = MC2”
——
Hip or lame?
On K Street:
Two early 20-somethings are walking. They look to be interns.
Intern 1 is wearing a full khaki suit with no tie and Intern 2 is wearing a nice button down shirt tucked in, with loafers and no socks… and shorts.
Intern 2: “Nah, it’s alright man. They’re dress shorts.”
Intern 1 looks at him in stunned disbelief.
——
Parents just trying to keep up
Near Trader Joe’s in Rockville around 5 p.m. on Tuesday:
Mother: “Whatever happened to Pokémon Go?”
Teenage daughter: “It Pokémon went.”
——
Relaxing!
Saturday afternoon, in the 147-degree Salt Room Sauna of Spa World:
The room is very quiet. Suddenly a woman breaks the silence and whispers loudly:
“Ouch! You always hit me in the vagina!”
——
Zing
At a professional development session for educators about coaching/mentoring conversations:
Instructor: “Oh, I have an example: has anyone seen Good Will Hunting?”
Woman: “Not in the last 15 years.”
——
That must have been at Epcot
Saturday, noon, at Tenleytown Metro Station:
Three early 20-somethings, two women and one man, are talking.
Man: “I can’t believe I’m finally going to U Street.”
Woman: “I wish they hadn’t closed Bohemian Caverns. It literally was like a ride at Disney World. You went downstairs and there was jazz.”
——
Oh, dads
Going through the fare gates at Dupont Metro:
Tourist dad ahead of his family hears a train arriving/departing the station: “Ohhh, shiiitake, there goes our train.”
——
Jail.
Night on V Street NW between 11th and 12th, in front of Tacos El Chilango:
A woman walks by on the phone: “…But he doesn’t even like eating cereal with milk!!!”
