Photo by Mr. T in DC
Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, and check out the archives here.
D.C. folks love their NPR!
Overheard of the Week
In a downtown D.C. co-working space:
A group of people are discussing Charlottesville and media coverage.
Woman 1: “A friend of mine was written up by her condo board three times for playing NPR too loudly in her apartment.”
Woman 2: “That’s not an offense, that’s a public service.”
After the jump, the Zoo, the Aquarium, and the Mall.
We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.
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Charm City!
In the women’s restroom at BWI:
A woman is on the phone: “Yeah, I’m in Baltimore, it’s my first time on the East Coast.”
(pause while the other person speaks)
Woman: “It’s known for crack!? Is that why I keep seeing things about it?”
(pause)
Woman: “OH! Haha. You said crabs!”
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Who says D.C. isn’t fashionable?
One coworker to another in a Foggy Bottom office:
“Last night, I went to the Columbia Room for the first time, and everyone there was so much more than fashionable me that when I got home I immediately threw the sweaty khakis I was wearing into the trash.”
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Ok, who has video of this
At Mt. Vernon Square Metro:
A train operator is talking with another Metro employee.
Operator: “They put a service animal on this train!”
Guy: “Yeah?”
Operator: “I don’t mean a service dog, I mean a service an-i-mal!”
Guy: “What kind of animal was it?”
Operator: “A horse.”
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When you’re sick of parenting
Sunday, August 13, in Baltimore at the National Aquarium:
Mother to child: “Stop running away.”
Child: (inaudible)
Mother: “Because you keep running away, it’s dark, and you don’t glow.”
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Gasp
At a small party with young politically-minded professionals:
“Safe track actually made my commute better.”
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Great job poopin
In a bar:
Guy: “Dude, there’s nothing quite like hearing ‘We Are the Champions’ as you’re leaving a public restroom.”
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Sounds like a Yelp review
A 30-something couple walking down the street in Woodley Park:
Woman: “What’s the name of the poop noodle place in Cleveland Park?”
Man: “Dolan?”
Woman: “Yes! I was walking by there and I saw the ugliest dog. It was horrifyingly ugly but SOOOO cute at the same time.”
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Baby steps, America
In an elevator at the Dept. of Transportation at lunchtime:
Man, late 20s/early 30s, talking to a woman: “I never thought being well-read was important, but since I’ve started reading the newspaper everyday, it’s empowering. Like, I know about Venezuela now.”
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When you’re sick of parenting, part 2
On a hot day in the National Zoo:
Dad and son are walking towards a snack stand.
Kid: “Can I get a Gatorade.”
Dad: “No Gatorade. You haven’t exercised enough today. You can get a Cherry Coke.”
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Heyo!
Walking down 8th street:
Woman 1: “Let me get this straight, your blind date last night was actually blind?”
Woman 2: “Yeah, but he didn’t have any trouble finding my boobs.”
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Disappointment then excitement
Thursday evening on MARC Penn Line southbound toward DC:
A tourist family is seated together.
Teen kid (looking at map, to adult relative): “Ooh, can we go to the National Mall?”
Relative: “Yes, but it’s not a place to shop.”
Kid: “What’s that mall in Minnesota?”
Relative: “The Mall of America?”
Kid: “Oh yeah, that’s what I was thinking of.”
Then a few minutes later, still on the train in the suburban sprawl near New Carrollton station:
Teen kid (looking out window): “Ooh there’s a McDonald’s! I’m looking for a Red Lobster… There’s a Red Lobster!!”
