Photo by nevermindtheend
Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, and check out the archives here.
Here is some great advice.
Overheard of the Week
Walking to a softball game on the National Mall:
One coworker to another: “Carry yourself with the confidence of a D.C. squirrel.”
After the jump, dating, marriage, and pie.
We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.
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D.C. weddings!
In David’s Bridal in Rockville last weekend:
Woman to her mother while trying on a wedding dress: “I mean, it’s a beautiful dress, but I don’t feel like a princess. I feel like a senator’s wife, but not a princess.”
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Or do you…
Saturday night at a corner store in Capitol Hill:
Mom and 6- or 7-year-old daughter are buying items and talking about making a pie for a contest.
Mom: “You can’t vote for your own pie, that is sort of like cheating.”
Daughter: “But I know it will be the best pie there.”
Mom: “I know, but you have to recuse yourself.”
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This is good burn
A young couple in their mid-twenties is ordering coffee on Saturday morning:
Woman: “I’d like a grande iced coffee.”
Barista: “Alright, and anything for you, sir?”
Man: “No thanks, I’m just her sugar daddy.”
Woman: “More like my Splenda daddy.”
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Where are the good old Myers Briggs days
Two young women walking to Silver Spring Metro who must have recently completed a work styles quiz:
Woman 1: “Where I’m weak is in my places of opposite. I need more blue.”
Woman 2: “They’re all yellow in the office—everyone is yellow except me and Patrick.”
Woman 1: “So, if you’re yellow you need to bring out a little bit of red or maybe purple. Guys are purple. I think there are a lot of things a guy does that I can do. I want to do that.”
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Wanna bet
On the Red line towards Fort Totten at about 6 p.m.:
Young boy, maybe 7 or 8, is explaining the paper robot he made in class to younger brother, maybe 5.
Older boy: “No, robots do not have genitals. They do not. They do not have genitals.”
Mom smirks, chuckles.
Younger boy: “They don’t? I guess they don’t.”
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For a minute I thought this was a to-go booze order
At Buffalo & Bergen at Union Market on Sunday morning:
An early-20ish woman is manning the area where people are lined up ordering to-go items, and yells, incredibly loudly: “I need an Arnold Palmer to go, and I’m still waiting on a Bloody Mary!”
A server, about 15 feet away, mutters incredulously: “You can keep waiting…”
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“Fine”
On Georgetown campus during the Eclipse, when the sun was around 10 percent covered:
Man and a woman are walking out of the Intercultural Center:
Man: “I don’t know what those people are talking about. In Bangladesh, I looked right at the solar eclipse, and I’m fine.”
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Don’t tell Trump
Waiting in line to pick up a prescription at CVS on Columbia Road in Adams Morgan:
Customer to cashier: “It’s freezing in here. Can you turn the AC down?”
CVS employee: “I wish. We joke about how corporate management controls the weather.”
Customer: “Yeah… I work for a federal agency, so my management might actually be controlling the weather.”
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Touche
Eating oysters in Bethany:
Man 1: “I watch Golden Girls every night before bed, why can’t I remember the name of the actress who played Sophia?”
Man 2: “Wait, why do you watch Golden Girls before bed?”
Man 1: “Because what else is on the Hallmark Channel at that hour?”
