Photo by Geoff Livingston
Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, and you can check out the archives here.
We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.
Overheard of the Week
Over the past few years, the Nationals have really developed a strong local following. (Being good helps.) And while some people complain about D.C.’s sports culture, we do have some pretty good heckles.
At Nats Park during Nats vs Phillies:
The Phillies catcher goes out for a conference on the mound.
Nats fan, yelling: “We’ve already got enough meetings in this town!”
——
Is it considered PSL season yet?
On the Red line during Wednesday’s very busy morning commute:
A mom and her two young kids are presumably going to school.
Son (sniffing mom’s sweatshirt): “Mommy why do you smell so good? You smell like pumpkin pie!!”
——
Don’t ask
Two twenty-something women walking around the Dupont Circle:
One to other: “What the fuck? How many electrocuted squirrels HAVE you seen?”
——
Says the Crocs and socks guy
Boarding the Metro at Brookland during afternoon rush hour:
A man wearing white Crocs with socks is on the phone: “Okay. I understand. But next time she comes to you for advice, send her to me. You’re not the best person to give advice.”
——
Um
In Farragut Square/West End on Saturday afternoon:
Two young women are talking, probably undergrads: “Orange juice is like someone put oranges in a blender, added poison and sadness, and then you drink it.”
——
Technology: bringing us together, or?
At the NoMa Metro:
Two men in their late 20s or early 30s are holding their phones and standing next to a construction site. They are getting increasingly agitated with each other.
Man 1: “No, it’s over here!”
Man 2: “No, I’m telling you it’s over here…”
Man 1: “Would you just listen to me.”
They both have Pokemon Go open on their phones.
——
There is hope for the youth
A group of elementary school kids, a few boys and one girl, are walking to school:
Boy: “…that’s what I’m gonna do when I’m grown up and working at McDonald’s.”
[turns to one girl] “What about you?”
Girl: “I’m not gonna be working at McDonald’s. I’m gonna be an accountant.”
——
I mean, they both have four legs…
On New Hampshire Ave near Dupont Circle:
A man waits to cross the street with his two black dogs, a Chihuahua and a Bernese Mountain Dog-type mutt.
Elderly woman: “Oh. My. God! They’re twins! Have you ever seen anything cuter?”
——
Been there
On the Circulator headed down 14th St., mid-Friday morning:
A woman, irate, is on the phone with some sort of customer support.
“And you say your name is… Gabriel?”
(Muffled response)
“Gabriel, I hope you die tonight.”
(Hangs up)
——
Oh, the English
In line at a coffee shop in Dupont Circle:
Woman: “So you found your way here with no problem?”
Man with British accent: “Yes, your Metro is easy. But I find it odd that they won’t let you walk around while you’re waiting for the train.”
Woman: “What? What do you mean?”
Man: “It was there on the sign at the top of the escalator: ‘No strollers.'”
