Photo by Wyatt Bensken
Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, and you can check out the archives here.
We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.
The federal government is hurting lately hanks to a lot of empty slots, a hiring freeze and cabinet officials who may not be the most suited for their jobs, to put it politely. But maybe some of the lack of effectiveness lately comes straight from the top.
Overheard of the Week
In a federal agency hallway:
Two employees are standing outside their offices talking speaking about a third employee.
Employee 1: “I don’t know how he got those numbers.”
Employee 2: “You know, he’s not data-based, he’s rumor-based.”
——
Peak avocado
At the Mt. Pleasant farmer’s market:
Man in his 30s to his group of friends: “If you’re shopping for avocados, you have got to go to Progreso. They’re like avocado sommeliers. You can tell them, ‘I want one for Tuesday, one for Wednesday, and one for Thursday.'”
——
Hmm
After exiting the metro at Van Ness:
A man in his 20s is on the phone: “I told her I was from Appalachia because I didn’t want to say I was from Kentucky. She said ‘Appalachia? I haven’t heard of that state.'”
——
A new meaning to Fancy Feast
On Q Street outside Hank’s in Dupont, after brunch:
A group is splitting up. Someone asked what people are doing now.
20-something woman: “I’m going to Whole Foods to get cat treats.”
——
I want to try this restaurant
At a restaurant serving pork chops:
“I don’t understand why there any wild hogs left. They are too good to eat. Why are people killing things like bears and wolves? They do not taste good.”
——
Who asked you!
In Georgetown after seeing a massive rat:
Old lady: “They call those city rabbits.”
Passerby: “Okay honey.”
——
We’re calling’ timber
At the Pitbull/Enrique Iglesias concert Tuesday night:
Cringey white dude to woman next to him: “OMG you’re Mexican?? I LOVE Mexico!”
(Minutes later)
CWD: “I’m not Latino but I think I’d make a GREAT Latino!”
Pitbull: “Where’s my Latinos at?”
CWD, pointing to self: “RIGHT HERE!!!!”
(Minutes later)
Pitbull tells a story about how he spent time in Alexandria as a kid. The crowd cheers at his local connection:
CWD: “SAY ‘ARLINGTON!!!!'”
——
Good zing. Also you are terrible
Around 7 p.m. on Tuesday outside Bardo near Nats Park:
A group of 40 somethings is walking out of Bardo, dog in tow.
Man with dog: “I’m going to get this dog into Salt Line one way or another.”
Woman in group: “Just say he’s a service dog.”
Man with dog: “What’s my disability?”
Other man in group: “You can’t even.”
——
Tricky
On an Orange line train between Foggy Bottom and Farragut West:
Group of three middle-aged presumably tourists are chatting.
Woman 1: “But what kind of transportation is this? A subway? A train?”
Man: (muffled response)
Woman 2: “But it IS underground!”
——
Life lessons
On the Georgetown campus:
Older man, probably a dad, with two women, perhaps his wife and daughter: “Everyone dies, Marsha. It’s like the circle of life. It’s like a bagel. It’s round.”
