Photo by Lorie Shaull
Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, and check out the archives here.
We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.
It was a tough game. This guy gets it, and this was even from last week.
Overheard of the Week
In line for the bathroom at Nats Park after last week’s loss to the Cubs:
Mid 20’s guy to nobody in particular: “I have no reason to live, just castrate me now!”
——
It sometimes feels like it
Saturday night on the rooftop of H Street Country Club:
A couple women in their mid 20s are looking out onto H Street:
Woman 1: “So where are we right now?”
Woman 2 (very confidently): “Adams Morgan.”
——
Right exactly
Sliver line toward Reston:
Some Gonzaga High School, maybe 9th grade, boys are talking.
One says to the group: “I should definitely wrestle because then when chicks ask I can say ‘I’m on the wrestling team’ and then they’ll say ‘oh wow that’s really hard’ and then they’ll all want to date me, plus I’ll get swole.”
——
Story checks out
Walking across Key Bridge into Arlington:
Two early twenty guys, with khakis and brown flip flops, are walking.
Guy 1: “So it’s great, when I want something new I can just come over here, and then I can come back and live like a bro in Arlington.”
Guy 2: nods
——
Metro train operators are the best
Red Line train to Glenmont from Shady Grove, pulling into Friendship Heights:
Train operator: “Welcome to Friendship Heights, Friendship Heights. D.C. passengers, please exit from the front end of the train. Those passengers needing a Maryland address, please exit from the back of the train.”
——
Nerds
At Duke’s Grocery on 17th Street:
Millennial hipster guy with a full beard and hells bottom haircut to a table of attractive millennials: “Shadowfax would be a really cool name for a dog around here.”
Dead silence.
——
Put that on your resume
Two women in their early 20s are walking away from Dunbar Aquatic Center:
Woman 1: “I’m really buoyant!”
Woman 2 simply nods.
——
And finally, confusion reigns supreme
At the 14th Street Trader Joe’s the morning of Columbus Day, it’s pretty quiet:
Three employees, a man and two women, are stocking the shelves in the produce section.
Woman 1: “Can I borrow your cart?” It’s not clear who she’s taking to—she’s looking in the direction of a visibly confused customer who does not have a cart, and no one responds.
About 10 seconds later: “I’m gonna borrow your cart, okay?”
She’s still looking in the direction of the customer, who is now looking around in confusion, and again no one responds.
About 10 seconds after that, Woman 1 takes a cart that’s been sitting next to her the whole time and starts wheeling it off. As she passes behind the male employee, she says, “I took your cart.”
Man (visibly startled): “Huh?”
Woman 1: “I took your cart.”
Man: “Okay.”
The man and Woman 2 continue working in silence.
Woman 2 (about three minutes later): “Hey, who took my cart?”
