Photo by Elvert Barnes
Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, and check out the archives here.
We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.
D.C. has a lot of great places to get married: parks, beautiful buildings, nice churches and more. But there are some we wouldn’t recommend. Can you imagine?
Overheard of the Week
At 4th and T Street NW:
Two young women are walking and discussing the reasons one of them decided not to go on another date with a particular guy.
Woman 1: “Yeah, and about how he got married on the Metro…”
Woman 2: “…he got married on the Metro?!“
——
Microwavable?
In Beuchert’s Saloon:
Woman to partner over dinner, talking about someone she admires: “But his wife has the personality of a dinner plate, a non-patterned dinner plate!”
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That’s why the Bar is so tough
A group of boys around ages 10-12 are having lunch outside:
Lots of squirrels are around.
Boy 1 points to each squirrel and calls them by names: John, Thomas, Michael. etc.
Boy 2: “How do you know their names?! Did you go to LAW SCHOOL with them or something?”
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Not wrong
At the Connecticut/18th/M intersection:
One twenty-something to another: “Everyone leads a much slower lifestyle here.”
——
Hmm
In Penn Quarter, lunchtime on Thursday:
Three 20-something coworkers are walking.
One of them “I imagine in Iowa that coming out as a vegetarian and coming out as a lesbian are basically the same thing.”
——
That’s an interesting philosophy
Thursday at dinner time at a bar in Petworth:
Two men still in business casual work attire, mid to late thirties, are chatting.
Guy1: “She’s smart as hell. The only reason she’s available in her mid-thirties, looking the way she does, is because she was in a relationship. She was married.”
Guy 2: (nodding in agreement) “Yes, all the good ones are getting divorced.”
Guy 1: (excited) “Yeah, it’s a revolving door and you gotta grab one as soon as they come out.”
——
Yes, and…?
At a grocery store:
There’s a table with a nonprofit rep, where a percentage of wine sales go to the nonprofit.
Nonprofit representative: “Hello! Check out the featured wines. A portion of sales goes to a homeless services organization!”
30-something man: “I work for the Republican National Committee.” He walks away.
——
Ugh so old
By the Vietnam Veterans Memorial:
Kid to parent walking by: “Wait, you mean you were alive during the Vietnam War.”
——
Yes that seems worth it
At Ottoman Taverna in Mount Vernon Square:
A mid-thirty something woman is having dinner with a married couple venting about the struggles of dating and the use of a matchmaker as her new strategy.
“For seven thousand dollars, you are guaranteed four matches.”
——
Been there
At the last day of the Maryland Renaissance Fest:
Millennial: “I have champagne taste with a free Chipotle water budget.”
——
Roasted
Sunday night dinner at See in Ballston:
A group of six young professionals is discussing actors and actresses, then Jennifer Lawrence’s name comes up.
Man: “She’s attractive, but I wouldn’t date Jennifer Lawrence.”
Woman: “I don’t think she would date you.”
——
Who says American soccer fans aren’t loud
At the final DC United game at RFK stadium Sunday:
Two rowdy guys in the supporters section:
Guy 1, after a bad call was made: “Impeach! Impeach!”
Guy 2 turns to people nearby: “Sorry, my friend is political.”
Guy 1: “Build the wall! Build the wall!”
Guy 2: “Dude, we don’t want the wall.”
Guy 1: “F*ck the wall! F*ck the wall!”
——
This whole area sounds bizarre
On the 16th Street bus:
20-something dude to female friend: “Amid all these places that will give you, like, a pound of beef, it’s this little place where you get, like, a smoothie and a bowl of chopped radishes.”
