Photo by Mr. T in DC
Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, and check out the archives here.
We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.
D.C. likes its presidents. We have monuments, memorials, racing presidents at baseball games, and more. But maybe not everybody is a fan.
Overheard of the Week
Sunday afternoon at the National Portrait Gallery in the Hall of Presidents:
An elderly woman says at very loud volume: “Who’s this? Chester A. Arthur? Ugh! Another one nobody cares about!”
——
You may have a hard time winning this argument
A little before midnight at 18th and T:
A man is walking his dog, who keeps trying to go different directions.
Man: “That’s why your throat hurts, because you pull like an asshole.”
Dog keeps pulling at the leash.
Man: “Asshole.”
——
Panic
Lunchtime in Mount Vernon Square:
Two 20-somethings are on the sidewalk.
Man 1: “Sorry, Chipotle’s out of soda water.”
Man 2: “What a disaster!”
——
Good luck with that
On Howard University’s campus during freshman orientation week:
Three very tall freshman athletes talking:
Freshman 1 to his two friends: “That’s the great thing about college, you don’t actually have to go to class!”
——
Local fave hate!
At Rock Bottom Bethesda:
Customers are talking about how they don’t like fruit beer.
Manager’s response: “I have Natty Boh on tap for people who don’t like themselves.”
——
Sounds fun?
At the Satellite Room before a 9:30 Club dance party:
One female bar patron to another, laughing: “What even is going on?”
Bartender slaps his hand down in front of them: “Dominoes motherf*cker!”
——
Look at fancy vet man over here
At a block party organized by a local business:
A couple is talking to another person.
The couple: “We had to take our dog to the vet today for his annual check up”
Other person: “Interesting, most of my friends have the vet come to them.”
——
Facepalm
At Sweetgreen in Dupont:
“I mean, he moved to the middle of nowhere…I don’t even know where Memphis is.”
——
Adorbs in D.C.
At the Humane Rescue Alliance on NY Ave. during the Clear the Shelters event:
A mother and her 7- or 8-year-old son are completing the adoption process for a tiny, fuzzy black kitten.
As the kitten was lowered into a cardboard carrier for the car ride home, just before the carrier was closed, the boy quietly told the kitten, “You have a new brother now.”
——
If I had a nickel
At the farmer’s market:
A vendor and a shopper, both in their twenties, are chatting. :
Vendor: “I won’t be here next week, I’m quitting.”
Woman: “Quitting?? Oh yeah?”
Vendor: “Yeaaaaah, things got real weird on the mushroom farm.”
As always, we rely on you to overheard the good stuff and send it our way. Make sure to tell us who was speaking to whom and in what context.
