Photo by Lorie Shaull
Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, and check out the archives here.
We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.
Dating and love seems to be constantly changing. There are a lot of new terms for things, and not everyone is caught up.
Overheard of the Week
At Vida U Street on Saturday morning
Two men are waiting for spin class.
Guy 1: “I was pleasantly surprised when he slid into my DMs last night after running into him at Trade!”
Guy 2: “Slid into your DMs? I can’t believe you did that on a first date. I hope he at least wore a—”
Guy 1: “A DM is direct message!! He DMed me through Instagram!”
——
Clearly she’s thrilled
On U Street on Friday night
A group in their 20s is out on the the sidewalk, with four guys all chatting up a storm and two young women following in companionable silence.
Woman: “So how long will we be out?”
A guy turns around and very seriously says: “Girl, we are out for the night! Four to four. That’s how we party. Morning. Or. Night.”
Woman: *Silence*
——
D.C. problems
On the Red Line going toward Shady Grove
Two 20-something women are chatting.
Woman 1: “It’s basically a long-distance relationship.”
Woman 2: “How? You both live here, right?”
Woman 1: “Yeah, but I live in Navy Yard and he lives in Logan Circle. I see that other guy I’m dating in New York more often than I see him!”
——
Smart kid, changing the subject
At Earth Treks in Rockville
A young kid scopes out the cupcake options at a birthday party, then runs up to another kid about to climb.
Kid 1: “Hey! Are you vegan?”
Kid 2 (looking confused): “What?”
Kid 1: “Are you VEGAN?”
Kid 2 (looks more confused, then grins): “Well … but … well, I’m almost 7!”
——
Ruh roh
Saturday afternoon in residential Capitol Hill
A middle aged woman is standing in her yard while the mail carrier tosses treats to the woman’s dog.
Woman: “Okay, that’s enough. He’s on a diet.” [to the dog, pointedly] “REMEMBER??”
——
Um
At Florida Avenue and 8th Street NW
Three women in their late 20s are walking down the street, probably post dinner.
One of them looks at The Shay apartments: “I just can’t keep up with all the coolness over here.”
——
Yikes
Walking down F Street near the Spy Museum
A young woman wearing a security uniform is on the phone: “Don’t be hanging up on me! Do you know what happened to the last old man who hung up on me?”
——
Oh, Herman…
Friday afternoon at the Sackler Gallery:
An elderly couple is looking at an exhibit of Buddhist temple bells.
Man: “This is from the Civil War”
Woman: “Huh?”
Man: “It says these are ‘southern belles,’ heh heh heh”
——
Sadly a phenomenon that affects all genders
In McLean
60ish female office worker to 40ish female colleague: “So now that they’ve closed all the pools, when is boob sweat season over?”
——
Never heard of ’em
In the cafeteria of big downtown law firm
A group of young paralegals, fresh out of undergrad, are having lunch.
Paralegal: “I love bar crawls. Do they have those here? They had them in Chicago.”
——
Strong opinions
At Indigo’s fifth anniversary party
“Virginia is a lawless wasteland … and it’s a 20 minute Uber ride.”
Same person, a few minutes later: “I repeat, we do not go to Virginia for sex.”
——
D.C. bus drivers are the best
On the N4 bus
The bus turns too wide in an intersection and has to reverse:
Bus: *Beeping*
A little girl, about 4 years old: “What’s wrong with this bus?!”
Bus driver: “Me driving it!”
——
As always, we rely on you to overheard the good stuff and send it our way. Make sure to tell us who was speaking to whom and in what context.
