Photo by Mr. T in DC
Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, and check out the archives here.
We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.
We’re all busy people. Sometimes we just don’t want to wait.
Overheard of the Week
At the Foggy Bottom Trader Joes:
Two 20-something women are browsing the wine aisle and reading the descriptions of the various wines.
Woman 1 (looking over a bottle): “This one sounds good, but it says you should decant it for an hour. Well, I might get it, but I shall NOT be decanting!”
Woman 2 looks at her quizzically, stifling a laugh.
Woman 1: “I mean, who has that kind of time?”
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Thank you?
At Dulles on Sept. 11, going through security:
TSA agent: “Thank you for flying in a hurricane on 9/11!”
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Maybe Metro isn’t so bad
After a Nats game at Navy Yard Metro:
Presumably out of towner Cubs fan to Metro employee: “You guys are the best. These stations are like cathedrals.”
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D.C. hurricane prep—or any kind of storm, basically
Tuesday night at Pentagon City Costco before Hurricane Florence:
Mother and tween daughter stocking up on supplies.
Daughter: “Mom, people are going to think you’re some kind of bread freak.”
(Minutes later in the produce section)
Stanger passing by: “Hey lady, what are you, some kind of bread freak?”
(Mother starts laughing uncontrollably)
Daughter: (mortified) “I told you so!”
Mother: (still laughing) “I think he heard you.”
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If I had a nickel
On H Street NE:
Woman in her thirties to a friend: “She was like screaming at me, ‘You can’t ride my horses!'”
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Netflix fans
In an apartment building’s lounge:
Three guys in their early 30s are talking animatedly.
Guy 1: “What’s the name of that school over there again?”
Guy 2: “Dunbar!!”
Guy 3 (pondering:) Why does that sound so familiar?”
Guy 2: “House of Cards.”
Guy 3: “Ohhhhh right!! Dunbar. Heather Dunbar.”
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Seems legit
At Dyllan’s in Georgetown:
20-something guy: “I’m going sober. I’m only having one drink a day.”
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Yuh oh
At the Shaw Metro on Monday night:
Station manager over the intercom: “Please do not use the bathroom inside the station. I repeat, do not use the bathroom inside the station.”
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Interesting advice
In Clarendon on a Tuesday night:
A man in his mid-20s is talking on the phone: “Yeah, kick some ass. You should get in there and like motorboat his butt or something.”
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Teacher stories must be the best
At happy hour at Ghibellina:
Three teachers are talking.
Guy: “So I asked my students to draw what their parents do for work. Everyone drew a person in a suit. One student, though, I couldn’t make out what she drew. So my co-teacher asks, ‘What does your mom do?’ My student responds, ‘my mom dances for money.’ My co-teacher responds, ‘oh, like a ballet dancer.’ My student says, ‘no, like on a pole.’ I said, ‘okay, moving on.'”
Other teacher: “So you teach kindergarten right?”
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Yikes
Two women on the Orange Line train, stopped at Metro Center:
Woman 1: “It’s all fun and games until you’re the star of the next ‘Get Out.’”
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Same
Rainy Sunday morning walking through the Dupont Circle farmer’s market:
A 30-something man is wading through the masses of people and getting more and more frustrated by the minute, until finally he says (to no one in particular) “The ONLY reason I come to this market is for the pancakes!”
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As always, we rely on you to overheard the good stuff and send it our way. Make sure to tell us who was speaking to whom and in what context.
