Photo by hellomarkers!

Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, and check out the archives here.

We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.

People in our area have strong opinions on grocery stores. The Safeways have nicknames. No one seems to like Giant. And folks are quick to proclaim to their allegiance to Wegmans and Trader Joe’s, but maybe another chain is gaining ground.

Overheard of the Week

At the new Whole Foods in Navy Yard:

Early 30’s-ish guy walking in with his girlfriend: “Is this what heaven feels like?”

——

Please sign me up

Office building elevator in Navy Yard, returning to offices after a fire alarm:

Woman: “I didn’t realize how many people were in WeWork!”
Man: “Yeah, did you see them streaming out?”
Woman: “They must have the good alcohol.”

——

Speaking from experience?

Full elevator in a Federal office building Tuesday morning:

A woman holding a coffee to a coworker: “I had a rough morning. My toddler didn’t want to wake up.”
Man standing next to her: “Yeah, kids ruin lives.”
(Awkward elevator silence.)
“I mean just think about your life before kids!”

——

Lots of sleepy people these days

At a protest on Capitol Hill:

Two middle-aged women peruse a board of protest buttons.

Woman 1: “I want a button, but it doesn’t name all three women.”
Woman 2: “Goodness, there’s another woman? When did that come out??”
Woman 1: “Apparently you didn’t stay up last night until 1 in the morning reading nasty things online.”
Woman 2, sheepishly: “Well I stayed up till 11…”

——

A teaching moment

In Chevy Chase Pavilion Starbucks:

Mother in her 50s and daughter in her 20s are sitting drinking coffee. Daughter is scrolling through her phone, reading the news.
Daughter: “Oh no! A lioness killed the father of her three cubs.”
Mother: “He probably pissed her off. Women be rising everywhere!”

——

Thou doth protest too much

During lunch in Dupont Circle:

A group of mid-twenties women are eating lunch.
“I’m not saying I dislike dogs! I was on my way home from hot yoga yesterday and stopped to pet a dog outside Whole Foods!”

——

Who knew public radio was so lucrative?

In the WAMU newsroom:

“What kind of fur coat do you have?”

——

A very D.C. conversation

In a gym in the West End:

Two twenty-something women are chatting before their class begins:

Woman 1: “He can’t make plans for Friday because he might be chasing a terrorist.”

Woman 2 nods silently.

——

Growing up?

At Starbucks in Tenleytown:

A teenage boy to a companion: “Welcome to the world of sexual… relations. It’s terrible.”

——

Speaking of Cowboys?

Two coworkers making small talk on a Monday morning:

Worker 1: “Did you see the [Washington football team] game last night?”
Worker 2: “No, I was at the rodeo.”
Worker 1: “The rodeo?! Where the heck is there a rodeo in this city?!”
Worker 2: There was one in Fairfax.”
Worker 1, upset: “Man, I ain’t been to a rodeo since Dallas!”

——

As always, we rely on you to overheard the good stuff and send it our way. Make sure to tell us who was speaking to whom and in what context.