Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, and check out the archives here.

We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.

It’s finally gotten cold. Very cold. You’d think there would only be so many ways to describe the cold. You’d be wrong.

Overheard of the Week:

At 4th and F St NW

Two men are walking and talking.

Man 1: “It’s nippy out here today.”
Man 2: “It’s more than nippy. It’s cold.”
Man 1: “It’s like God reaching down and tickling your skin.”
Man 2: “Is that what it’s like? Well, God needs to cut his nail!”

——

Do what now?

Saturday, early afternoon at the Tyson’s Corner Center near the 1st floor food court

Two early 20s women are talking.
Woman 1: “Who has the weapon?”
Woman 2: (inaudible response)
Woman 1: “That stroller is a weapon. You’re always telling me to watch out and calm down but that stroller is a weapon. I’m not going to bum rush a stroller or a kid…”

——

A lesson needed lately

A family with an about 8-year-old boy is walking past the Spy Museum

Mom: “‘Espionage’ means spies.”
Kid, in a shocked tone: “Wait, spies are real?”

——

It’s the law!

At the Alexandria Scottish Walk

Dad to young daughter: “We do this once a year to fulfill our bagpipe quota. Then we’re done.”

——

She makes a good point

Walking out of an apartment building

A couple in their 20s walks past a dish filled with dog treats.

“Why don’t they leave treats out for US?”

——

Dude, you gotta check out the farmers market

At the Columbia Heights Farmers Market around 11:30 a.m.

Two obviously stoned guys in their early 20s eyeing apple slice samples to a woman in her mid-20s: “Are we allowed to take these?”

She nods.

Guy: “Holy mackerel, that’s delicious!”

——

Sneaky naming!

In line to get coffee at the Colony Club one late Sunday morning

Mid-20s guy to woman he may or may not be trying to impress: “I live in West New York … well, it’s really just New Jersey.”

——

Avoid avoid!

At the bar at the Line hotel

Guy talking to female colleague discussing a work situation in a serious tone: “I’m an asshole, but I’m also very sensitive….”

——

You just answered your own question

In an Uber pool

30-ish man on the phone: “Mom, I’m in an Uber, I’m sharing it, I don’t know if it’s common practice to talk in the Uber or not. Of course, I just said that aloud for the benefit of the other people in the Uber.”

——

Innocence soon to end

In line at the Capitol on Tuesday evening

A couple with a little girl, about 4 or 5, are talking about how they recently moved to the area.

Mom: “What’s been your favorite thing about D.C. so far?”
Girl: “The Metro!”

——

As always, we rely on you to overheard the good stuff and send it our way. Make sure to tell us who was speaking to whom and in what context.