Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, and check out the archives here.
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Somethings about college just never change.
Overheard of the Week:
At the Chik-fil-A in Tenleytown on a Saturday afternoon:
Three college students are having a conversation.
One of them: “… But goth is an aesthetic; emo is a way of life.”
——
Harsh but fair
In Chinatown:
Little girl riding on her dad’s shoulders, pointing at Capitol One Arena sign: “Daddy, what does that say in Chinese?”
Dad: “It says the Wizards will never win a championship.”
——
Good thing she explained what that meant
At the Mumford and Sons concert:
Four mid-20s women have been providing running commentary at the start of every song. “The Cave” starts:
Woman 1: “Mumford have been with me since my early 20s. 21… 22… 23… 24.”
Woman 2 nods in agreement.
(later)
Woman 1: “This song has gotten me through so much.”
——
Rare: a tourist being accurate twice!
On the National Mall:
Father talking to young son, maybe 4 years old: “That’s the Capitol building. That’s where Congress doesn’t do its job.”
——
American Psycho alert
On the Red line to Shady Grove:
One early-twenties bro to another: “I mean, you got her that seductive-ass card.”
——
Salon humor?
At Bang Salon in Navy Yard:
Receptionist guy to guy who just got a haircut: “Wasn’t your hair longer when you came in?”
——
Benefits of having kids
At New York Penn Station in a huge line on Sunday at noon waiting for an Amtrak train to D.C.:
Family of five waiting in the line.
Amtrak employee: “Families with young children to move to the front.”
Dad to five year old son: “C’mon, I knew there was a reason we had you.”
——
Yep
In an Uber:
Uber driver, who is Lebanese: “D.C. roads are so bad it’s like riding a camel.”
——
Ennui kid
In the elevator in Pentagon City Mall:
Elevator arrives at the second floor with a mom and her about 5-year-old son. People get on and push the button for the first floor, but the mom is under the impression that the elevator is going up. It starts going down and she realizes she didn’t push the button when they got on.
Mom to son: “Oh, I guess we didn’t push the button.”
Son: “See, this is why nothing in life matters!”
——
Aging
On the Red line coming from Bethesda around 6 p.m.:
Four teenagers are sitting together, one of whom has the Express open to the funny pages.
One of the kids: “You an old man now, drinking coffee and reading the newspaper!”
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It’s taking over the world
At Au Bon Pain on 19th Street in Dupont:
Mid to late 20s woman on the phone: “Yeah, I’m from Baltimore, I can’t just start saying ‘rubbish'”
(Pauses while the person on the other line talks.)
“I don’t know, I guess she started watching the Great British Baking Show or something!”
——
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