Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, so check out the archives here.

We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.

The shutdown is over (for now.) You have to hit them where it hurts.

Overheard of the Week:

 At Pizzeria Paradiso in Dupont:

Some women are sitting together and one gets a news alert on her phone.

Woman 1: “Oh, the government’s not shut down!”
Woman 2: “For three weeks.”
Woman 3: “Apparently some airports shut down and that triggered the deal.”
Woman 1: “Are you kidding me? Rich people can’t fly and THAT’S what’s worth reopening the government for?”

——

 Got to start that comedy career somewhere

 Guy talking to woman as they exit an improv class:

Guy: “Yeah, so I did commercial litigation. You know, God’s work.”
Woman: “Of course.”

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Literally

On the Orange Line during evening rush hour:

A young couple is huddled over a phone doing some online shopping.

Guy: “If you get the hat, you have to get the gloves. I mean… hat and gloves, they go hand-in-hand.”

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Pupflakes

On the Red Line around noon:

Two 50-something women board and are continuing their conversation.

Woman 1: “At this point, I’d vote for a puppy to be president.”
Woman 2: “That would be a serious upgrade.”

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Interesting strategy

Near Foggy Bottom:

Husband and wife are walking with their extended family in tow.

Man: “So which way do we go?”
Woman [seemingly frustrated]: “The GPS will start working once we get on the right road.”

——

Everybody has their priorities

Two mid-twenties guys walking in Chinatown:

Guy 1: “Yeah, I think she’s going to make him move to Arlington.”
Guy 2: “I’m being serious when I say this. Would rather live in Bethesda.”
Guy 1: “At least Bethesda has a Benihana.”
Guy 2: “And an Equinox.”

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The maintenance diet

Outside the Soulcycle in Georgetown:

 A group of women are in workout clothes outside of the gym.

Woman 1: “Should we get Sweetgreen before our workout?”
Rest of women: “Oh GOD yes!”

——

 Being jaded about Metro starts early

 At the Takoma Metro station:

 A family with a boy about 10 years old is getting into the elevator.

Boy: “It’s a miracle! It doesn’t stink!”

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And finally, meta-overheard! 

Afternoon of January 29 in a coffee shop in Chinatown:

40-something man Skyping with 30-something woman without headphones. Apparently she is in Europe drinking.

Man: “On my way to Hay Adams for SOTU. Their turnout is always strong to support both sides of the aisle.”
Woman: “WTF is SOTU? Who do you think you are?”
Man: “SOTU: State of the Union. Didn’t you live in D.C?”
Woman: “Stop being what DCist writes about. There’s your first problem.”
Man: “Touché. I may have to submit that to Overheard in D.C. I’m a loyal member.”
Woman: “You’re the definition of Overheard… I’m drunk.”

——

As always, we rely on you to overheard the good stuff and send it our way. Make sure to tell us who was speaking to whom and in what context.