Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, and check out the archives here.
We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.
Parenting is hard with one kid and even more work with more. But there are ways to make it better.
Overheard of the Week:
At 14th and Rhode Island Ave. NW around 5:30 p.m. on a Saturday:
A family of four is walking south. The dad is about to cross Rhode Island and is several paces ahead of the mom, who is pushing a double-wide stroller with two twin boys. The boys appear to be about 2-years old and are standing on their seats looking around, seemingly rambunctious.
Mom, looking at Barrel House Liquors: “Okay, boys! Dad’s going to get mom some tequila.”
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No time for hyperbole
Friday about 10 a.m. in an office building in Chinatown:
Office worker 1: “You’re lucky you weren’t on MARC yesterday. They had 100-minute delays. 100 minutes! What is that?”
Office worker 2: “It’s an hour and 40 minutes”
Office worker 1: “I know what it means literally.”
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Truly amazing
In a K Street office, coworkers are longingly staring out the window wishing to be sent home early on a snowy Friday afternoon:
Third coworker creeps up behind the others: “I was right about the snow not stopping. It always happens on days I drink coffee. I turn into the oracle or something …. ”
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Random advice: not always useful
On the Red Line towards Shady Grove after midnight:
Two women are talking about some guy when they turn around to talk to a man behind them.
Woman 1: “Can we ask you a question?”
Man: “Um, ok … ”
Woman 2: “Is there ever reason why you would turn down sex with a woman who was making it clear she was into you?”
Man: “That’s kind of a hard question to answer … ”
Woman 1: “Why’s that?”
Man: “Because I’m gay.”
The two woman burst out laughing
Woman 2: “THAT’S the perfect answer!”
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The world of summer jobs
At Guapo’s in Tenleytown:
A college-age or recent graduate sits at a long table full of similar-aged friends:
“I’m either going to make $4,000 this summer or I’m going to work for the NIH.”
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D.C.: land of misanthropes
Thursday at Ghibellina during happy hour:
Two late 20s-ish women are discussing the ex of one who lives in NYC.
“So you’re not going to go to NY because he’s there? That’s crazy to not go to a city because you hate someone. I hate lots of people in D.C. and I still live here.”
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True that
Two 20-young somethings in an Uber pool at 13th and Pennsylvania:
Woman 1: “This is a really cute area.”
Woman 2: “What area?”
Woman 1: “Just like, D.C.”
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Yes, very common outdoors
At the National Zoo on the nicest afternoon in a long time:
A mom and her young son, probably 10 or so, are huffing and puffing up the hill towards the pandas.
Mom, completely serious: “I thought there was an escalator.”
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Pub games are getting wild
At Kingfisher:
20-something Woman: “I was sexting with one hand and playing bingo with the other.”
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Nerds!
On the GW campus:
Two male undergrads are entering a dorm, one of which is carrying six pizza boxes
Guy 1: “We’ve gotta start eating better, Jesus.”
Guy 2: “What, are you getting heartburn, or … ”
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Museums are hip now
At 4:30pm on Saturday at the Smithsonian National Museum of American History:
Upon walking past a case featuring the red cloak and white bonnet from “The Handmaid’s Tale,” a middle-aged father remarks to his teen daughters:
“I mean it’s still on TV, how can it be history?!”
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Tourists really don’t like walking up things
Outside the Capitol Visitor Center:
A 4 or 5 year old talking to his mom as they are leaving the Capitol Visitor Center: “I thought you said we were going downhill, not going up more stairs!”
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As always, we rely on you to overheard the good stuff and send it our way. Make sure to tell us who was speaking to whom and in what context.
