Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, and check out the archives here.
We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.
What makes one part of a city cool? Maybe it’s the vibe, the nightlife, the arts scene, the residents. Maybe it’s the architecture or the urban form. Or maybe it’s something else.
Overheard of the Week:
In a D.C. government office:
Worker arguing with colleagues about which D.C. neighborhood is coolest: “The great thing about Dupont Circle is people live harmoniously with the rats there.”
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Kyle!
Saturday night at 9:30 p.m. on Florida Avenue near the 9:30 Club:
A group of eight men and women underdressed for the cold are crossing Florida in front of the gas station. A jacketless bro immediately runs to a scooter on the other side of the street and starts to activate it.
Woman, pointing at the 9:30 Club: “Kyle, you don’t need another scooter! The building is right there.”
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Similar to Magnum
On the Yellow line to Fort Totten:
A group of teenage girls are trying to find their way around.
Teenage girl: “OK, so we’re getting off at the Chinatown-Gallery P. I. station. Then we’re going to walk one minute to the art museum and see the Obamas!”
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Is this how the law works now?
A group of American University Washington College of Law students chat on campus on Saturday afternoon:
Law student: “If you’re going to invite everyone for pizza night, you’re going to have to make smaller pizzas.”
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Tough love
At Cava in Chinatown:
Two mid-late 20s women are talking about how they can’t find the right guy because they’re too career-driven.
Woman 1: (huge sigh) “UGH. It’s so hard being intimidating to men.”
Woman 2: “Right?! Like I just want to be a boss bitch but make a guy my bitch at the same time.”
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Learn something new every day
On a Silver Spring-bound Metro in the morning:
Man: “I used to work in big cat conservation and the people were crazy. It’s true that cat people are crazy and the bigger the cat, the crazier the people.”
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Everyone’s an architecture critic
At 17th and Pennsylvania Ave NW:
Two male tourists in their early 20s are walking.
Guy 1 to Guy 2: “It really is a nice city. It’d be nice if the buildings were a little bit taller, but… ”
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They usually shoplift, yes
In one of the NGA gift shops, two elderly women are browsing:
Woman 1: “Steal like an artist, it says.”
Woman 2: “What does that mean?”
Woman 1: “I don’t know…”
——
The Anthem draws an unusual crowd
In the “Super Fantastic”(seated) area at The Anthem for the Lucinda Williams/Drive By Truckers show:
Drunk guy, gesturing to stage: “It’s Lucinda fucking Williams! Y’all STAND UP!”
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I would like these two to host a political talk show
At Maggiano’s in Friendship Heights:
A husband and wife in their 70s are eating lunch and yelling over the table to a 90-year-old woman who is hard of hearing.
Wife: “Have you been to the National Prayer Breakfast? It’s so boring. And they serve you cheap food and cheap coffee.”
Husband: “I’m sure Trump is giving some awful speech anyway.”
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New Year’s Resolution
Near the Building Museum:
Woman walking her dog while talking on the phone: “Stay outta jail. That’s my 2019 goal. Stay. Outta. Jail.”
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If you have to ask
Sunday afternoon a little before 5 p.m. near Eastern Market:
A woman is talking on the phone while walking her dog. They are both wearing red jackets.
Woman: “Do I just give off the vibe that I have nothing to do? Maybe I just need to date in person.”
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And finally, college kids are different these days
Riding the 31 bus south to Georgetown on a Saturday afternoon:
Two young undergraduate students from American University with skateboards are talking throughout the ride.
Student 1: “I realized how much more stuff I could do if I quit art and started doing politics instead. My parents were all, ‘Are you sure you don’t want to go to art school?’”
Student 2: “No, I want to go into politics Mom and Dad!”
(later)
Student 1: “He said he’s never been to an art museum for fun.”
Student 2: “You have to culture the shit out of that boy.”
(later)
Student 2: “Have you ever actually been to Georgetown cupcakes? It’s trash.”
(later)
Student 1: “Are you going to Gov Ball? The line-up is literally the best line-up ever. It’s so much better than Coachella. And Boston Calling.”
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As always, we rely on you to overhear the good stuff and send it our way. Make sure to tell us who was speaking to whom and in what context.
