Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, and check out the archives here.
We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.
Overheard of the Week
On the street
Woman in her 20s: “Oh my god, if my parents hadn’t gotten me an SAT tutor, I would have called Child Protective Services. Like, ‘Mom and Dad, do you hate me?’”
——
That explains the Georgetown Cupcake line
Outside Madam’s Organ
Bouncer 1: “What’s that drug that’s worse than K2? You know…”
Bouncer 2: “Man, the only thing worse than K2 is sugar!”
——
Drama!
At Wisconsin and M on Saturday afternoon, two older women are crossing the street
Woman with an Irish accent: “As his now-dead sister used to say to me in Buenos Aires, ‘Carrie, you’re no addition to this holiday.’”
——
Note to self: don’t rob these people
At a clinic near McMillan Reservoir
Doctor 1: “We need a 719 form for this lady, she needs a new cane. She was on the bus and someone called her a bitch so she beat them up and broke her cane.”
Doctor 2: “Yeah, I had a surgical patient the other day, he’s a mugger and he was trying to rob this old man with a cane, and the old man whacked him unconscious and next thing you know, EMS is running a bravo code for the mugger.”
——
Eyeroll
On 9th Street NW around 11 pm, a crowd of twentysomethings walks by DC9
A man in group confidently explains: “Oh yeah, this place just opened. This is a new spot.”
——
Runners are a rare breed
During the Rock and Roll Half-Marathon, on one of the hills after mile seven or eight
30-something year old woman running and talking to self: “This hill is my bitch!”
——
Bottomless mimosas please
At the Tenleytown Ace Hardware, a mom is talking to her 7- or 8-year-old son
Mom: “Well, do you want breakfast or lunch?”
Son: “I want brunch!”
——
That’s one theory
Monday evening near Dupont Circle, a woman in her mid-20s is walking and talking on the phone
Woman: “The only reason you’re dating him is because he’s nice. He’s my friend, and I agree that he’s nice, but that’s like a really stupid reason to be dating someone.”
——
Religion!
At Tunnicliff’s Tavern on Monday evening, two late 20’s/early 30’s men are having dinner and a beer
Man: “I feel like we’re the elite Army of the Lamb. We’re the Navy Seals of Team Jesus.”
As always, we rely on you to overhear the good stuff and send it our way. Make sure to tell us who was speaking to whom and in what context.
