Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, and you can check out the archives here.

We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.

D.C. has a long history of spying, defections, stolen documents, and so on. There are movies about it. Even if you haven’t been trained in espionage by a three letter agency, there are clues to tell you when you should leave a situation.

Overheard of the Week

7:30 p.m. at Circa in Foggy Bottom:

Two 20-somethings are clearly on a first date.

Man: “I just need to know you’re not a spy.”
Woman: What? You need to know I’m not a spy?”
Man: “Yeah.”
Woman: “Well, what do people our age like? I work in finance. I like classic rock.
Man: Yeah, I feel like our generation’s turn back to classic rock really reflects our generational inequality and overall malignment by older folks, and generations that ultimately had it better than us.”
Woman: “Did you learn that from Reddit?”
Man: “I learned that from speechwriting. You’d be surprised the random things you learn.”
*drinks arrive*
Woman: “I want you to try my drink.”
Man: (incredulous) “You want me… to try your drink?“
Woman: “Yes. Please. “
Man: “Ok, I’m honored, I guess.” (Takes drink)
Woman: “Doesn’t it taste weird? Like… something is in it?”
Man: “Well, there’s a lot of ice in it.“

——

☹

In the changing room at the Nordstrom Rack near Metro Center on a Friday afternoon:

Two women, presumably friends, are trying on clothes in neighboring stalls. One woman to the other, after trying on a red shirt:

“I look like a Finnish mom. But I’m kinda down for that. They have healthcare.”

——

Actually, that’s a pretty good question!

At the Library of Congress entrance behind a family of tourists:

Tourist teenager son to his dad: “Is this like a real library? Like, can you check out books here?”

——

“Like”

In line at the bar at Wolf Trap during the Second City comedy show:

Two women in their 50s are talking.

Woman 1: “What’s queso?”
Woman 2: “It’s like cheese.”

——

Kind of metallic?

Two twenty-somethings walking down the main strip in Cleveland Park:

Woman: “If I were a Lacroix flavor, I would be pamplemousse.”
Man: “…”

——
Lawyers, everybody!

Walking near 5th and H in Chinatown in the morning:

Guy in his 30s is talking on his cell phone: “No, the court date is set. Yeah, this guy should totally go to jail, but I think I’ll get him off because the prosecutor has no idea what he is doing. But seriously, he is guilty as fuuuuuucck.”

——

Awww

Two women in their 60s sit down in the Kramerbooks Cafe around 9 p.m. on a Sunday:

One woman to the other: “Here we are. We’re hipsters now.”

——

Zing

At the Kite Festival on the Mall:

A large gust of wind throws a bunch of trash and dust in the air as a man and woman approach.

Woman: “That was my nickname in high school.”
Man: “What, garbage tornado?”

——

TJs really needs a fan club

Outside the NoMa Trader Joe’s at 7:30 on Wednesday evening:

Two mid- to late-20s women.

Woman 1 points at TJs: “Look at that!”
Woman 2: “I’ve been every night this week. I feel so European.“

——

Double aww

On the Green line to Chinatown:

A little boy talks to group of high schoolers.

Little boy: “Are you Spider-Man?”
High school boy: “Maybe. I can’t tell you, that would ruin the secret identity thing.”
Little boy: “Show me your powers.”
High school boy: “I can’t do it in public. I’m nervous.”
Little boy: “Well, I’m Spider-Man.”
High school boy: “It’s an honor to meet you. You’re one of my biggest heroes.”

——

It’s lit!

Outside the Philz Coffee on the corner of Adams Mill Road and Lanier Place:

A 20-something male on his phone: “I could just take a xani-banani and watch Harry Potter all day.”

——

Oh, the X2

On an X2 bus near the Capitol Hill Walmart:

Two men are fighting over a girl they each dated. It is clear one of them went through a messy breakup. The fight carries over towards the back door where the calmer of the two is trying to leave. Fists are thrown.

Automated bus announcement: “Please do not stand in the back door area.”

——

D.C. trends

1 p.m. on a weekday outside the Navy Yard Whole Foods:

Two somewhat hiply dressed 20-somethings are chatting.

Woman: “Well now I’m off my Mayor Pete kick.”
Man: “Why? I’m on my Mayor Pete kick.”

——

Gourmands

At a Nats game on a cold Sunday afternoon:

Three high school bros are talking about which ballpark food to get.

Bro 1: “What did you have for breakfast?”
Bro 2: “Quiche”
Bro 1 is confused.
Bro 2: “It’s like… an egg… cake.”

As always, we rely on you to overheard the good stuff and send it our way. Make sure to tell us who was speaking to whom and in what context.