Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, and check out the archives here.
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People get really into the cherry blossoms. Maybe too much.
Overheard of the Week
At the Cherry Blossom festival last weekend near the Wharf:
Woman: “… beautiful. Yeah. I’m glad I wasn’t too big of a mess in college because I would have definitely gotten a cherry blossom tattooed on my ass.”
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We’re all artists now
While taking pictures of the cherry blossoms at the Tidal Basin:
Two mid-30s women just standing under the trees.
Woman 1: “It’s funny how so many people are into photography now that Instagram is so popular.”
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We’re all food critics now
Thursday night at a British pub in NE D.C.:
Three 20-somethings are sitting at a table.
When the food comes, one of them cracks open the crust on his pot pie and looks down on the plate: “This thing’s a hot mess.”
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Riiiiight
Around 11 a.m. on Saturday near the Foggy Bottom/GWU Metro:
A diverse group of high school students are walking.
High school boy: “Whoa! A 7-Eleven! I can’t believe they have 7-Eleven here.”
High school girl: “That’s what I love about the East Coast. It’s so authentic.”
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That’s not good
Thursday night on U Street:
Woman talking on her phone walking past Solly’s: “I feel like your second marriage is for love and you just seem ‘meh’ about her.”
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Maybe some tourists don’t do much research before planning when to visit
Middle-aged woman talking on her cellphone near the Smithsonian Castle:
“Yeah, so I guess there are these things called cherry blossoms… ”
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The kiss of death
On the Metro during the Cherry Blossom Festival:
A group of middle school-age kids and their chaperones gets on the train. Many are wearing fanny packs. They argue over whether it is considered a purse or not.
Young boy: “My mom made me wear this thing. It’s basically a purse.”
Chaperone, patting her fanny pack: “This is my whole life right here. I am so happy these came back in style. Honey, don’t ever get rid of it. Respect the fanny pack!”
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Ok, we see it
In the Chinatown FedEx store:
There’s a full, unopened bottle of Smartwater on the checkout counter.
Clerk 1: “Shoot, someone left their water.”
Clerk 2: “That’s one sexy bottle of water.”
——
Been there
On Pennsylvania Avenue outside the White House:
A pre-teen male in a middle school tour group: “Barack Obama is the vice president now right? Like, when Trump became president, Obama moved to vice president?”
Female chaperone (exasperated): “Oh my god, no.”
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The louder it is, the faster it is!
Walking down U Street near the 14th St intersection early Sunday evening:
It’s very crowded, everyone is still out, and there is a ton of traffic on the sidewalks and the street. Suddenly a car revs its engine loudly, backfiring, and then revs hard again.
A late 20’s woman yells back: “SORRY ABOUT YOUR PENIS!!!!”
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Tinder is wild these days
In a residential area of Capitol Hill:
30-something guy in business attire walking and talking to another guy.
Guy: “The questions were, like, ‘What turns you on?’ I said ‘Captain Kirk’.”
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The children are learning the wrong stuff about current events
At 33rd and P streets NW:
Two boys who appear to be in their early 20’s, both wearing backpacks and drinking bubble tea.
Boy 1: “Yeah, but if you’re a leader it doesn’t matter if you’re hot or not.”
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Groan
At Busboys and Poets in Hyattsville:
Diner 1: “So you’re going to have lamb two days in a row?”
Diner 2: “Absolutely! There’s mutton like it.”
As always, we rely on you to overheard the good stuff and send it our way. Make sure to tell us who was speaking to whom and in what context.
