Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, and check out the archives here.
We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.
Jumbo Slice is an important part of D.C. life: the big crowds post bar in Adams Morgan, U Street and elsewhere. It’s not good, but it’s an institution.
Overheard of the Week
Middle aged woman and young boy on 18th Street NW in Adams Morgan:
Mom: “Yeah, see, that is a pizza place. That’s where people get pizza late at night.”
Kid, amazed: “Late night pizza?”
Mom: “Not ‘til you’re older.”
——
Hopefully ironically
At the bar at Glen’s Garden Market on a Saturday afternoon:
Three twenty-somethings, one guy and two women, are gossiping about a mutual friend who has apparently been going through a rough patch.
Guy: “He’s been wearing the same Cleveland Hard Rock Cafe t-shirt for the past three days.”
——
Technically they are inside it
In the second floor hallway of the Uzbekistan Embassy during the Around the World Embassy Tour:
A group of people is admiring the art.
Man: “It would be really helpful if they showed us where Uzbekistan is on a map.”
——
It seems like you already made up your mind
Walking through a parking lot near RFK:
A younger guy talking to his two friends: “I could have taken the military scholarship, but do I really want to be an accessory to a never-ending imperialist war?” (Shrugs) “Eh, not so much.”
——
We did it?
On 8th Street, Barracks Row in front of a 7-11:
An older woman is talking to a tween boy.
Woman: “That’s what I’m saying. They’ve got those kinda laws in all 49 States and the District of Columbia.”
Tween boy continues scrolling on his phone.
——
Now explain Foggy Bottom
On the Red line during Thursday evening commute:
Older woman with heavy Long Island accent and two tween girls are sitting together. Girls question the names of metro stops.
Woman: “Every stop gets its name from something important there. At Fort Totten, there’s the fort. Totten. At Judiciary Square, there’s the Supreme Court. Or something like that. I don’t know.”
——
Being lazy is important
In a big apartment building on 16th Street:
Two late 20ish guys walking to the laundry room.
Guy 1: “Sometimes there’s nothing to say, you ask what are your hobbies and she says ‘running’ and that’s the end of that date.”
——
Retirement?
Walking up 7th Street from Penn towards Chinatown:
50-something in a suit to another: “Yeah, he’s made it to Margaritaville.”
——
Lengthy opinions
In the Mosaic District in Falls Church, walking past Anthropologie during Cinco de Mayo weekend:
A trendy millennial girl wearing a shirt emblazoned with, “Life is short. So is your dick.” to her friend: “Oh, I don’t think you’d like Seders. They’re, like, *really* long.”
——
May want to consult the internet on this one
Walking by the W hotel, it’s a perfect warm and sunny and hot humid day:
Three men in suits exit. One of them takes a big refreshing breath and proclaims, “D.C. is just beautiful this time of year; right before cherry blossom season.”
——
Sounds about right
Two Senate staffers in the Dirksen cafeteria:
Staffer 1: “What are your weekend plans?”
Staffer 2: “Pass out on a $3 bottle of wine.”
——
Political commentary or city insult? Redux
On Constitution Ave at 15th going into White House Easter Egg Roll a couple of weeks ago
6 year old girl decked out in Lilly Pulitzer: “Mommy, why does it smell?”
Mom, similarly attired: “That’s just D.C. “
——
Love the outdoors with kids!
In Rock Creek Park:
A family is walking. The girl is about 9 years old, brother a few years younger.
Girl hits her brother.
Boy: “Ow!”
Girl: “Ok, no more hitting now!”
Mom: “That’s no fair, you can’t hit your brother and then declare no more hitting!”
A few minutes later:
Boy: “You walk like a turtle!”
Girl: “You walk like a grandpa!”
As always, we rely on you to overheard the good stuff and <a href=”mailto:overheard@dcist.com”>send it our way</a>. Make sure to tell us who was speaking to whom and in what context.
