Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, and check out the archives here.
We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.
There’s a lot of not so great news lately, but maybe the kids are doing OK and remaining thoughtful about it all.
Overheard of the Week
At 1:30am in front of Ultra Bar in Penn Quarter:
A drunk group of teens or young college kids are gathered around one puking girl.
Friend, slurring: “OMG Jasmine, stop! Throw up in the TRASH, not the recycling!”
——
Clearly the worst possible thing you could do
At Teaism in Dupont:
Four yoga pants-wearing, perfectly done-up moms at 4 p.m. on a Thursday. Not a kid in sight.
Mom: “I don’t know why she is so mad. It’s not like I stole her nanny.”
——
Architectural appreciation: still going strong
Outside a 19th century church in Capitol Hill:
Contractor-type person admiring the extensive renovation work being done by his construction crew on the church steeple.
“GODDAMNIT, this looks great!”
——
What happened to the buddy system?
At the top of the Capitol South Metro entrance:
Police officer, clearly waiting for others to show up, to an officer getting off the escalator: “Where’s Dave, did we lose him?”
Second officer: “Dave needed to go to the little lieutenants’ room.”
——
It’s getting dark out here
During a fire drill at a building a few blocks south of Dupont Circle:
Man: “Huh, I was kind of hoping we’d get to see a fire, at least. Well, our economy’s on fire.”
——
Romance is tricky
At Philz Dupont Circle Sunday afternoon:
Two early 20-somethings are talking.
Guy 1: “Have you ever dated someone who just didn’t speak your love language? He was a Princeton frat boy. He expresses his love through alcohol. I just don’t live that way.”
——
Like that matters anymore
Mid-afternoon, on K street, 5 blocks from the White House:
Button-downed man sans suit jacket, pacing in front of an office building, speaking loudly into his phone: “No, you listen to me. And hear me. IT’S. AGAINST. THE. LAW!”
——
People say bureaucracy is bad, but one to standardize name spellings might be good
At the check-in counter of an unnamed boutique fitness chain in the West End on Saturday morning:
Front Desk Staffer: “Good morning, what’s your first name?”
Young Woman: “Carolyn.”
Front Desk Staffer pauses after checking the computer: “I’m sorry, I don’t see you in today’s class. How do you spell your name — K-A-R-A space L-Y-N-N?”
Young Woman: “Um, no, Carolyn, spelled like everyone else ever named Carolyn. C-A-R-O-L-Y-N.”
Front Desk Staffer: “AH, yes, found it.”
——
Spoiler alert? Slash yikes
At the Potomac Yard playground on Sunday afternoon:
A father is entertaining his five-ish year-old daughter by chasing her around the jungle gym.
Dad to kid: “Daddy is coming! It’s like winter. [Awkward pause] …only better.”
——
Fun bar conversation
At Local 16 on a beautiful Friday afternoon happy hour:
Mid twenties dude to other mid twenties dude: “I’d like to see the cross tabs on Biden’s electability”
——
She makes a good point
In Dupont Circle after a Cinco de Mayo bar crawl:
Millennial woman to her male companion: “I’m not fuckin’ doin’ a cab, Ryan!” [pause] “It’s 2019, I don’t take cabs!”
——
Instruments
A busker is playing a steel drum outside the Archives/Navy Memorial metro.
Teenager, talking to his friend: “He’s playing the Jamaican bongos!”
——
The horror
At Bourbon Coffee:
Two people are having a conversation that sounded like it started as networking but transitioned to casual talking.
Woman: “So this morning I was listening to All Songs Considered…” [waits for a sign of recognition]
Man: [says nothing]
Woman: “It’s an NPR podcast.”
Later, after she tells him about The Moth.
Woman, softly, a little afraid of his answer: “Do you listen to NPR?”
As always, we rely on you to overheard the good stuff and send it our way. Make sure to tell us who was speaking to whom and in what context.
