Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, and check out the archives here.
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It’s that time of year: field trips and tour groups. It’s probably not a ton of fun to have to chaperone a bunch of kids.
Overheard of the Week
In the security line at DCA:
A chaperone for a large group of 8th graders sees that four boys in the group have cut a stranger in line to be with other classmates.
Chaperone to herself: “Oh my god, they just cut her. What little brats.”
She makes eye contact with the stranger and says in a dead voice: “It’s been three days.”
——
Tired: complaining about D.C. bagels
Wired: defending them
At the corner of 18th and K:
Two twenty-something guys in business casual
Guy 1: “…but you know why I’m not even sad I can’t eat bagels anymore?”
(Guy 2 does not respond)
Guy 1: “It’s because D.C. bagels are fucking garbage.”
Guy 2: “I dunno…they’re kind of all that’s keeping me going at this point.”
——
Getting those tourist dollars any way we can
At a swanky hotel near Dupont Circle:
A woman is checking in wearing a navy and red halter top pantsuit.
Front desk person: “So, what brings you to D.C.?”
Woman: “Well… I have an Instagram account.”
——
California, Maryland
In Adams Morgan on Wednesday morning:
One tourist to another: “I wonder where the Hollywood sign is?”
——
The two genders
At 13th and U on a Thursday evening:
Two 20-something women to another: “You’re a Chacos person? I’m a Tevas person!”
——
Maybe the gig economy does have some benefits
Four bros in their early 20s walking on Capitol Hill:
Dude 1: “I thought you were going to charge scooters for a living?”
Dude 2: “ANYTHING is better than driving around Congressman Asshole!”
——
Modern love
In Dupont:
20-something on her phone, biking: “I mean, I already told you I want to have sex with you, but you’re my friend. It’s not like that.”
——
Narrator voice: Nope
At the Big Stick in Navy Yard, across from Nats Park:
Several 20-somethings on a bar crawl are clearly in a celebratory mood.
Woman: “After this, can we go to The Brig so I can get my steps in for the day?”
Man, exaggeratedly slowly, in a put-upon tone of voice: “We are at The Brig.”
——
Viva la revolución!
Saturday afternoon at Atlas Brew Works:
A couple in their mid-20s are looking at their phones and making plans for the evening.
Guy, excited: “We could go throw bricks through the Brookings Institution’s windows!”
Girl, horrified: “What?!”
Guy: “You know Brookings, they’re the ones who…” [looks back at phone, pauses to read] “…never mind. I was thinking of David Brooks.”
——
Yes exactly
Memorial Day at Emissary in Dupont:
A man and woman in their 20s are sitting and talking.
Man: “At least if you’re a vampire you live in a nice house, like a mansion. Unless you’re one of those gross vampires…”
Woman says nothing. They both leave.
——
As long as they do it on the right
Leaving the Georgia Avenue/Petworth Metro:
A group of young women are having fun and singing as the leave the station.
Guy to his wife: “Were they twerking on the escalator?”
——
As always, we rely on you to overheard the good stuff and send it our way. Make sure to tell us who was speaking to whom and in what context.
