Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, and check out the archives here.
We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.
D.C. has a cool food scene—new restaurants open every day, old favorites close, and popular spots from other cities are coming here. It’s cool to see people get into it.
Overheard of the Week
Standing in line for the Navy Yard Harris Teeter’s Prime Rib Thursday lunch special:
A man in business casual speaks into his ear piece, presumably to a secretary.
Man: “It’s Thursday … No, I won’t be available … Make sure my office hours reflect 9 a.m.-11 a.m. and 1 p.m.-3 p.m. on Thursdays. Don’t mess with my prime rib time. I need this time to relax and put my feet up.”
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Hashtag Pride problems
During Pride celebrations on Saturday at 18th and T:
20-something woman to her friends: “Can you get glitter off with hand sanitizer?”
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Qualified for nothing
Two interns in line at the Longworth Cafeteria on the Hill:
Intern 1: “What’s your major, again?”
Intern 2: “I’m poli sci, so I fucked up.”
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Riiiight
Two men in business suits exiting the elevator of a State Department annex building:
Man 1: “What are you getting for lunch?”
Man 2: “Starbucks.”
Man 1: “Starbucks? That’s lunch?”
Man 2: “Yeah, I get the egg whites [Sous Vide Egg Bites]. If I keep eating the egg whites every day, I’ll look like The Rock by the end of the summer.”
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Millennials are killing change
At the Dupont Philz Coffee on Thursday morning:
Mid 20s women sitting with friends eating avocado toast. “My new apartment laundry only takes quarters; do you think I can order quarters on Amazon Prime?”
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Whoa
On the G2 bus from Georgetown on a weekday evening:
Early-20s woman, to her friend: “When you think about it, humans are really half-centaurs.”
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Networking never stops
At a jujitsu class at BETA Academy on 14th Street NW:
Two 30-something guys who don’t seem to know each other are practicing, “rolling,” where one person lays down and another sits on his back, and the bottom guy tries to wrestle out.
Guy 1: “So what do you do?”
Guy 2, while trying to fight him off: “I work for a non-profit that works with refugees.”
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Gotta use the chip
On the corner of L and 1st Streets NE:
Man: “So there I was with my credit card in my ass crack.”
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Local history is fun
On the Red line:
Guy to his friend: “They called it Shady Grove before ‘shady’ had the negative connotation. ‘Oh my gosh, look at that grove, isn’t it shady?'”
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I like this theory
Sitting outside a restaurant in Tenleytown:
Two men are having an informal discussion regarding a job promotion and years of experience.
Man: “Well, yeah I guess in the history of the Earth I’m young.”
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Hmm
Sitting at the bar at Grady’s:
A couple in their late 20s-early 30s are talking about clothes. She tells him what a bustle is.
Him: “But could you put a bustle in a hedgerow?”
Her: “What? That doesn’t make sense.”
Him: “It’s a line from a Led Zeppelin song.”
Her: “Is that another one of your obscure 80s bands?”
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Interns, making the gears of government run
In a Senate elevator:
One intern to another. “Do you think anyone noticed I fell asleep?”
As always, we rely on you to overheard the good stuff and send it our way. Make sure to tell us who was speaking to whom and in what context.
