Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, and check out the archives here.
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Last week there was a pretty neat projection of the Apollo rocket on the Washington Monument to commemorate 50 years of the moon landing. It drew a huge crowd, but, as it turns out, not everybody had the best time.
Overheard of the Week
On the Mall, watching the projection
Dad: “We stayed out until 9 o’clock to see a jpeg on the Washington Monument?”
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Always love the fun train operators
On the Yellow line at 8:40am at Georgia Ave-Petworth
Train operator: “Good morning and welcome to the Yellow line train to Ronald Reagan Washington National Airport, and a special welcome aboard to those of you who are fashionably late!”
Later, same guy: “Good morning boys and girls! All aboard!”
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Been there
Near 14th Street on Friday morning, a younger woman and an older woman are chatting on the sidewalk
Younger woman: “I didn’t even hear them yelling ‘fire’ when I woke up. The first thing I heard when I woke up was ‘This is some buuuuuuullllll shit.'”
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New fangled slang!
Getting on to the VRE Elevator to head home at Franconia-Springfield Metro Station Tuesday evening
A young professional woman has two phones. She calls someone at her job and reads an email aloud from first phone to the person on second phone: “I got this email from [name]. ‘I am ok with moving forward if you want to; if so let me know and I will look into it and download the four-eleven.’ I don’t know what he means … do you think that’s a typo?”
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Again, not everyone loves the Mall
Next to the Reflecting Pool
A woman is arguing on her cell with her what appears to be her significant other. She seems angry she moved to D.C. to follow them: “There is a fucking swimming pool on my right and soccer fields on my left—I feel like I’m supposed to be impressed but I’m not.”
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Tourists
At Federal Triangle Metro
A group of tourists has stopped in front of the escalator entrance at Federal Triangle. Their leader is reading instructions off a piece of paper, and the group is blocking the escalator entirely. A train is pulling in.
Woman: “Excuse me. Excuse me.” [no one moves] “What is going on here? Everyone move!”
Group starts to move. Woman makes it onto the escalator. The group stops, blocking both sides.
Woman: “Are you guys serious? Stand on the right! The right!”
Tourists make grumpy noises and move over.
Tourist: “I hope you fall on your face!”
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Getting old in D.C.
On a very packed red line train during Thursday’s evening rush, a middle aged man and woman, presumably coworkers, are talking
Woman: “How are your kids?”
Man: “So my son is in between high school and college. It’s sort of been like a government shutdown. The first two weeks are awesome. You have so much time to relax. But after that it’s like there’s nothing to do, and nobody cares about you anymore.” (Pause) “What about your kids?”
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Keeping the gears of government oiled?
On Wednesday afternoon on the Silver line
A group of college-age interns discussing their “weirdly close” team of interns.
Intern 1 : “I mean, you work together! Do you really have to fuck each other too?”
Intern 2: “And I can’t believe the director didn’t even care when he found out about the intern orgy.”
All the interns nod thoughtfully.
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More Apollo related fun
At Saturday’s Apollo 50: Go for the Moon event on the Mall:
A guy is with his group of friends. He’s standing with his back about 15 feet from the giant countdown clock. The countdown clock prior to the show has the hashtag #GOFORTHEMOON on it in huge letters.
Guy “What should I tag my pictures?”
Friends shrug, continue looking at phones.
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Sometimes it’s possible to be too clever
On the Red Line on a Saturday in the early afternoon
Two women in their early 20s are talking about guys’ dating app bios.
Woman 1: “I don’t know why ‘This is a 7000-series train’ is announced at every stop.”
Woman 2: “Yeah, I swiped right on a guy on Bumble who just had that as their bio.”
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The new meet cute
Near Farragut Square on a sweltering Thursday afternoon
Two men are crossing the street, one approaches the other.
Man 1: “Hey, are you [name]?”
Man 2: “Oh yeah, you must be [name]? Nice to meet you in person.”
Man 1: “You look just like your Bitmoji!”
Man 2: “Thanks man, that’s a point of pride for me.”
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And finally, always a classic genre of Overheard
Standing in line for the Air and Space Museum
Male tourist, pointing at the National Gallery of Art: “Hey, babe, look over there. That big thing is the Lincoln Memorial. It has a giant statute of Lincoln on the inside and everything!”
As always, we rely on you to overheard the good stuff and send it our way. Make sure to tell us who was speaking to whom and in what context.
