Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, and check out the archives here.

We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.

Wonders never cease.

Overheard of the Week

A 30-something woman is with a few friends outside at Sunday brunch at Wonderland. The waitress is over to take their order and they’re chatting.

Woman: “I met my fiancé here!”
Waitress: “Wow, that might have been the only good hookup story I’ve heard here!”

——

Been listening to Marianne? 

At the Harris Teeter Navy Yard

A man in business dress is wandering down the aisle and talking on the phone.

“I think more with my head, and less with my mind.”

——

Right on target 

Two employees are talking at the Columbia Heights Target:

Employee 1: “Well you’re full of energy today!”
Employee 2: “I came in with a roof over my head, money in my pocket, and a smile on my face. I’m not gonna let Target bring me down today!”

——

Hm

A 20-something man is talking on the phone in NoMa:

“It’s just getting to the point where finding the interns work is a job in itself.”

——

Problem, children

A group of two women and one man, in their mid-to-late 20s are talking on the Silver Line on the Friday evening commute home:

Woman 1: “Yeah, you can’t let kids sleep in the bed with you. My parents let me and I ended up sleeping in the bed with them until I was 13. It was a problem.”
Man: “Same with me. I slept in the bed with my parents until I was 10.”
Woman 2: “Yeah, that’s a problem.”

——

Is that how that works?

At the site of a car crash at M and 18th streets NW on Friday night at 5:30 p.m. The car has gone over the sidewalk and is in front of the entrance of the building:

Passerby: “Well they drive a Hyundai Elantra, so they can’t be a terrible person”

——

Ew

A group of five college-aged guys walking to the DC United game:

“It’s only sometimes true that I haven’t brushed my teeth in twenty years. Sometimes it’s not true.”

——

Nothing like a good train conductor shaming 

As the Red Line train pulled away from Metro Center:

Conductor: “Attention passengers who held the doors.  If you are in that much of a rush you already know you’re late. You can wait two minutes for the next train instead of holding up the rest of us.”

——

Listen to the Metro, sir

A 20-something male New Yorker who appears to be visiting a friend in Crystal City is riding with him on the blue line to Rosslyn on Thursday morning. He’s putting the ride from Crystal City to Rosslyn in New York terms.

“This is just like going from Westchester to Manhattan.”

Later, he stands to go look at a Metro map just as the train accelerates, pushing him back into his seat.

“They just told me to sit my ass back down!”

——

As always, we rely on you to overheard the good stuff and send it our way. Make sure to tell us who was speaking to whom and in what context.