Crystal Thomas of the Washington Spirit celebrates her goal with teammates at Audi Field.

ISI / Washington Spirit

Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, and check out the archives here.

We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.

The Washington Spirit normally plays at a relatively small stadium out in Germantown, Maryland. But after the enormously popular Women’s World Cup, the team had two games scheduled for Audi Field, drawing huge crowds to the pitch where DC United usually stars. If our Overheards of the Week are any indication, they brought a new audience.

Overheards of the Week

At Audi Field, while going in for a Washington Spirit game:

Two women are talking

“Why does it say, “DC United?”

——

Yeah, how come?

Walking toward Audi Field before the Washington Spirit game:

A little girl looks up at a Wayne Rooney poster.

Girl: “Who is that?”
Dad: “That’s a player for the men’s team, they also play here.”
Girl: “Why do they let boys play at the girls stadium?”

——

Yelp in real life

Two millennials browsing in the fiction section at Kramerbooks:

Man: “Have you heard of Politics and Prose?”
Woman: “No.”
Man: “It’s mostly a cafe but they have books too. Good vegan food.”

——

We have a podcast recommendation for you

Saturday at 1:00 outside Ben’s Chili Bowl, the D.C. landmark:

Young man and woman approach Ben’s. He walks in, then comes out.

She: “Do they have stuff other than chili?”
He: “Yes, some hot dogs and stuff.”

——

Influencers, take notes

At Smorgasburg DC on Saturday. A group of 20-somethings are talking about their food and making videos.

Girl 1: “How is it?”
Girl 2: “10 out of 10!”
Guy: “If you keep saying everything is 10 out of 10, it’s not going to mean anything.”

——

Get her a t-shirt slogan deal

A group of young white people in their late twenties or early thirties are sitting around a table at Wisdom (a cool neighborhood bar by Potomac Avenue) at 9 p.m. on Sunday night

Woman 1: “Get off Facebook and into therapy!”

A few moments later

Woman 1: “Your Instagram friends aren’t your friends. Your friends are your friends!”
Woman 2: “Maybe we should make this our regular bar!”

——

So what do you get angry at on TV?

Group of five older men at Del Mar Friday night

Four of the five men are arguing over their fantasy football teams.

Fifth man chimes in: “I’ve never been into sport teams or political parties.”

——

Exhausting?

At Bradlee Shopping Center

A 30-something woman talking to a man as they walk into a store: “My retirement is starting to look a lot like being on drugs in Europe.”

——

Dog park drama never ends

Early Saturday in Arlington at Woodmont Park

Two dogs are sniffing butts, one is a little aggressive and their leashes are getting tangled, the owners are trying to sort it out.

Woman 1: “Sorry!  He’s kind of a humper—it’s embarrassing.”
Woman 2: “That’s OK, Spot likes it.”
Woman 1. “Huh…is that so?”

——

Wait till she discovers coupons

Two mid 20’s white girls wearing workout clothes in Shaw mid Monday morning

Girl 1: “I’m trying to be better with money. Like, so, I just learned that you can buy things on sale.”
Girl 2: “‘Just learned that I can buy things on sale,’ she says! That is the most Bethesda, private-school bullshit I’ve ever heard!”

——

Deep

Upper 20’s guy talking to upper 20’s girl wearing Dallas Cowboys attire

“You know what I just realized? Why are cowboys not called horseboys?”

——

Choose in peace!

Older gentleman who may or may not be cutting the very long 14th St. Trader Joe’s line at 6:30 p.m. on a Monday

“Everyone is looking at me like I’m doing something wrong. What am I doing, I’m just choosing some fish, ignore me.”

(He was in fact just choosing some fish)

——

Wimps

A male tourist in his early 30s talking to his buddies in front of the White House

“…then she brought out the P.F. Chang’s spicy sauce and I’m like, ‘I got a fuckin’ problem.'”

——

Too real

Wednesday evening outside Dupont Metro station

Group of kids walking along singing: “The measles on the bus go round and round…”

As always, we rely on you to overheard the good stuff and send it our way. Make sure to tell us who was speaking to whom and in what context.