Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006. Check out the archives here.

We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.

In a city where the president got a mere four percent of the vote, we have to imagine there are a lot of creative versions of this.

Overheard of the Week: 

Two late twenty-something women in an Uber: 

Woman 1: “Doesn’t your mom work at the White House?”
Woman 2: “Yeah, I just tell people she works in ‘administration’ …. I just don’t say which administration.”

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Stoners, or just getting into fermenting? 

Two men in their late 20s/early 30s are leaving an apartment in Montgomery County:

Guy 1: “But like, how do you stop the pickling process when something has started pickling?”
Guy 2: “I don’t know, man. This isn’t something I can weigh in on.”

—

Happy hump day? 

Two men are sitting at sidewalk table at Anju, on 18th Street:

“You know what I’m doing on Wednesday? I’m learning how to butcher a whole pig. I am so excited.”

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Not a bad Yelp review

Bro walking into the Eaton Hotel:

“I love Buca di Beppo! It’s like Maggiano’s on roids.”

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We have one hundred questions

Two women and a men, all well-dressed and in their 50s, are walking down a hallway in a coworking space: 

Man: “One hundred”
Woman 1: “He rented one hundred horses?”
Man: “Yes. He rented one hundred horses to recreate the Battle of Hastings.”

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Alrighty then 

A 40-something woman is talking to a 50-something guy at a restaurant in Crystal City:

“I can tell a man’s income level by his manicure.”

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Way to keep farmers’ market stereotypes alive 

Two late-twenties/early-thirties guys are at the Columbia Heights farmers market:

Man 1: “Ooooh they have kiwi berries! I write poetry about these.”

—

Love a good Greek tragedy 

A young 20-something on the Metro is speaking on the phone:

Context unknown, fighting back tears, he suddenly exclaims: “This is why Elizabeth Warren is running, to terrorize me and my love life!”

(The submitter adds that the speaker turned and asked if he had a juul he could use)

—

That escalated

Two twenty-somethings are shopping together:

Woman 1: “I really want a pretzel.”
Woman 2: “Like a warm pretzel?”
Woman 1: “Yeah.”
Woman 2: “Well, where do they sell warm pretzels?”
Woman 1, heatedly: “I don’t know if gluten-free warm pretzels even EXIST!!!”

—

Now there’s a marketing campaign  

Two women walking through Shaw on a Saturday night pass a Razor e-scooter parked in a treebox:

Woman 1: “What’s that? It’s so much bigger than the other ones you can rent.”
Woman 2: “Yeah, it’s a scooter with BDE.”

—

You tell her!

Two 30-something guys walking near the Bethesda Metro:

“… And she’s like, ‘Well, where are you?’ and I’m all, ‘I’m in 2019, THAT’S why I can’t send a fax!'”

—

Being a med student seems much more exciting on TV 

On the Georgetown University shuttle to from campus to Rosslyn:

A group of medical students are discussing the best kind of instant oatmeal flavors and their favorite breakfasts.

“Wait, you’ve NEVER had Chips Ahoy with oatmeal?!? What are you doing, that’s a classic combination!!”

—

Dream big, sir 

At a farm stand in Silver Spring, a male employee is reorganizing pumpkins:

“I always wanted to ride a Harley across the U.S., but now I think I’ll just ride a scooter across D.C.”

——

As always, we rely on you to overheard the good stuff and send it our way. Make sure to tell us who was speaking to whom and in what context.