Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006. Check out the archives here.

We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.

The wedding hashtag seems like a trend that is here to stay, whether we like it or not. But the wedding slogan? Perhaps we can nip this one in the bud before it takes hold.

Overheard of the Week

Group of young 20-something campaign staffers walking in Dupont Circle, Tuesday around 4 p.m.

Woman 1: “Do you have a wedding hashtag?”
Woman 2: “Yes, and a slogan. We’re campaign people!”
Man 1: “What’s the slogan, ‘Four more years?'”

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You gotta start ’em young

Two(ish) year old is sitting at a table at Goldberg’s Bagels in Silver Spring with his family and looks over at the drink case.

Toddler: “I want bucha!”
Mom: “I don’t think they serve kombucha here honey.”

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I feel like there are better ways to ask this question

Male and female in their 30-40’s are walking out of Slipstream at 10 a.m.

Male: “How do you not know? Was your mother’s vagina Jewish?”

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A historic first

Outside the Nestlé office in Rosslyn at 5 p.m. on a Tuesday

Mid-twenties female to friend: “I baked my cheesecake sober!”
Friend: “BWHAHAHAHA!”

——

Ballsy!

On the Red Line pulling out of the NoMa station Wednesday morning, a man in his early 40s is on his cell phone

Man: “Yes, I had a follow-up question for after my vasectomy: Can I get a semen analysis?”

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But now you’ve got us all wondering

On Monday evening, a woman walking in the tunnel towards the Court House Metro Station is talking on the phone

Woman: “It’s like a Tootsie Roll commercial at this point—because he’s dead, the world may never know.”

——

Roasted 

A mom is trying to get her kids excited at the Natural History Museum on Sunday afternoon

Mom: “Do you want to see the grossest, most disgusting thing here?”
Kids: “Yay!”
Mom: “Go find your father!”

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I love to think about the person who this explanation is for

A woman at a party is trying to explain what La Croix is

Woman: “It’s like White Claw, but without the alcohol.”

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Prove to me that they’re different

In the car on the way home from DCA after picking up parents

Son: “Did you read that article on Gilgamesh in The New Yorker? It was so interesting and smart.”
Father: “Oh, so you are coming around to liking him then? I thought he’d be too moderate for you.”
Son, confused: “Huh?”
Father: “Buttigieg, are you liking him more?”
Son: “Dad, Gilgamesh.”

——

Right before her astral projection to the family table

A woman in her early 20’s is trying on boots at the Tyson’s Corner mall at the Frye Company store on a weeknight before Black Friday

Woman: “I really needed something to calm my anxiety to travel home for Thanksgiving. I could bring all my crystals home with me but these boots will work!”

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As always, we rely on you to overheard the good stuff and send it our way. Make sure to tell us who was speaking to whom and in what context.