Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006. Check out the archives here.

We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.

This week, we see a budding mafioso create some healthy boundaries when it comes to friendship. Touching!

Overheard of the Week: 

A 10-year-old boy is walking down M Street Northeast with a 10-year-old girl

Boy: “Yeah … we’re not friends, we’re associates.”

——

When cat people (or Mark Halperin) fly

At DCA early Monday morning, a mid-40s couple is talking while waiting to board flight and notice a lady with a Pomeranian is also going to be on their flight

Woman: “I hate getting on a flight and finding out I’m sitting next to a dog!”

——

This is relatable to someone who long thought it was “play it by year”

An adult woman is talking on a Blue Line train

Woman: “I always thought it was called Erin Space.”

——

Are we sure this isn’t some Aaron Sorkin fan fiction?

Two staff members conversing in a hallway in the Dirksen Senate Office Building

Man 1: “How are you doing?”
Man 2: “I was doing much better before I came back here today.”
Man 1: “To another week of shame!”

——

But it’s nowhere near as plucky as this week’s Red Line

A professionally dressed woman is telling two other people at Philz Navy Yard that she saw someone with a concealed gun on the Metro this morning. She saw his gun when he patted it quietly, as if checking it was there, after some off-kilter guy started yelling at everyone.

Laptop Guy: “What Metro do you ride?”
Laptop Lady: “The Green Line. It’s feisty. I don’t know. I usually ride the Blue Line.”

——

Speaking of the Red Line …

Friday evening single-tracking on the Red Line

Metro operator: “Customers, please keep your hands, arms, feet, babies, and all other appendages inside the car at all times!”

——

That feeling when you weren’t paying attention in art theory class

At the Adam Pendleton artist talk at the Hirshhorn 

Adam Pendleton: “I look back and I’m both very disappointed … and at the same time not disappointed at all.”
One older woman leans over to another and mouths: “I have no idea what he’s talking about.”

——

Better than aggressive, anyway

A woman is on the phone while shopping for beauty supplies at the Columbia Heights Target

Woman: “Yeah, it is pretty passive. But I like my men passive.”

——

Bless you, sir

A 30-something male runner is approaching a gaggle of women in their 60’s on a warm winter afternoon along the Northwest Branch Trail in Silver Spring

Woman: “Runner! Everyone clear the way! A runner is coming!”
Man, after a delay: “More of a walker today, but I appreciate that!”

——

Ugh, sometimes even bosses have a point

Two women in their 30s are walking towards Union Station at lunch time

Woman 1: “So, my supervisor says to me, ‘You can’t do that! It’s illegal!’ And I say to myself, ‘Fuck you, bitch! I’m going to do what I want to do.'”
Woman 2: [nods approvingly]