Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006. Check out the archives here.

We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.

The holidays can be a really tough time of year for entertaining visitors. If only they were always this cute about it.

Overheard of the Week: 

At the U.S. Botanic Garden’s ancient plants exhibit:

Young boy, who has clearly just learned to read: “Jur-ass-ic. Jurassic! Finally this exhibit has dinosaurs! I’m so tired of looking at plants!”

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Sober advice

Two twenty-something women are crossing 14th Street NW: 

Woman 1: “Neither you or I can afford to keep drinking with any one of these people in this group.”
Woman 2 nods her head in agreement.

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Probably Cats’ best review

Three twenty-somethings are sitting at a table in Byblos Deli in Cleveland Park around 2 p.m. on New Year’s Eve:

Man 1: “You guys have got to see Cats. It’s crazy.”
Man 2: “Is it the worst movie you’ve ever seen?”
Long pause
First man: “It’s so unhinged I almost actually started to enjoy it. The first 45 minutes are just a bunch of cats introducing themselves.” 

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Facts of life

Two women in line outside Georgetown Cupcakes in Bethesda:

Woman 1: “I hope you have decent champagne…. there’s nothing worse than a bucket of hangover on New Year’s Day.”
Woman 2: “It’s inevitable either way.”

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We can only assume, pray, hope that this is one of the many misuses of literally

Two 20-something women are walking in Washington Circle:

“And she had a literal penis growing out of her forehead.”

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Er, okay

On a Megabus approaching Union Station:

“I love fish except catfish because I can’t eat them because I love cats and catfish has cat in front of it.”

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Please don’t poke the is-this-a-Northern-or-Southern-city bear 

Teens/early twenties tourists walking in front of Treasury: 

“So is this the South? I don’t hear any funny accents.”

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Sober advice II

Two women in a Gallery Place elevator 

Woman 1: “I didn’t want to cook anything so I was just going to eat insomnia cookies for dinner but got yelled at by my roommate.”
Woman 2: “Listen, you need to get your face together.  You need to get your life together.”

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Indeed

A group of middle schoolers are outside of the Supreme Court on a field trip:

“That’s where gay marriage happened.”

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Really different burg

During the Newseum’s final week, in front of the display on Charles Lindbergh:

“Lindbergh…didn’t that blow up in New Jersey?”

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I bet they already know

A twenty-something man is walking into SPIN on a Saturday night with friends:

Man. “What I’m saying is, I’ve never actually joined a fight club.”

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Surely somebody somewhere had to have done this?

Two elementary school-aged girls are at the National Christmas tree on Christmas Eve.

Girl 1: “Oh my gosh, I LOVE Baby Yoda.”
Girl 2: “What if instead of baby Jesus, they put baby Yoda in the manger?  That would be sooooo cute!”

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Okaaaaaaay

Two twenty-somethings, a man and woman who seem to be returning home, are at the bar at Summer House Santa Monica at Pike and Rose

Woman, comments on his watch, something about it being different.
Man: “I’m not really into Rolexs, everybody has one.”

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Sir, this is not something to brag about

A man and woman in their early twenties are walking near the Ellipse after the national menorah lighting:

Man: “I can’t even tell you all of the places I have peed in New York.”

And in case you missed them last week, check out our favorite Overheards of 2019.

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As always, we rely on you to overheard the good stuff and send it our way. Make sure to tell us who was speaking to whom and in what context.