Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006. Check out the archives here.

We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.

Love us some feel good bro content.

Overheard of the Week:

A group of bros in their mid 20s, waiting to order sandwiches at the Italian Store (and super excited about the prospect of eating a chicken parm sub):

Bro 1:” How’d the intern do on that project?”
Bro 2, face lighting up with happiness: “Dude! He totally crushed it! He must have been running on so many cups of dark roast. The future looks so bright, man!”

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Think you mean the another Buffett? But actually not him either. We Googled. 

In a federal office building elevator:

“You know that song. Who sang it? Warren Buffett? Yeah. ‘Take this job and shove it…’ ”

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Lemons–>lemonade

Two 20-something college students, sitting in a cafe in Georgetown: 

“I have made a breakup-songs-list on Spotify and it now has 1000 followers, and they are now emailing me, asking me how did I choose my songs and requesting my advice!”

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This must be a fun game

On the D1 bus:

Dad to toddler-aged girl: “There are so many people on this bus. Can you say, ‘the economy must be fantastic!’?”
Toddler-aged girl, quietly: “tha econ uh me mus be fan tahh stic”

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Parental wisdom

At Thai Pad in Van Ness, a father is talking to his 6-year-old son:

Son: “How do you know which chicken nugget piece is good?”
Dad: “I have been alive 30 years longer than you and in that time, I have learned a great deal about fried chicken, of which chicken nuggets are a type.”
Son: “Oh.”

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Turns out, this is a thing

Crossing M Street outside the Navy Yard Metro at Half Street SE 4 p.m. on a Saturday, a 20-something man and woman are talking:  

Man: “There’s a Subway.”
Woman: “That’s a Subway cafe.”
Man: “Do they sell booze?”
Woman: “I think they sell coffee.”
Man: “I think they sell booze. Like a Taco Bell Cantina”

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We all know the man this boy will grow up to be

A family is at the Phillips Collection on a Sunday afternoon. There are two brothers, and the older one is whining to his parents: 

“Dad, dad, Zach is just LOOKING. He’s not even OBSERVING.”

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Parental wisdom, II 

Mother, to her young son as they were getting up to exit the train at Union Station:

“Are you crazy? You don’t put your mouth on anything having to do with the Metro!”

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Can’t argue with that

In Navy Yard, a woman ends an argument with her beau:

“You said it. You know you said it. You just said it without saying it so you could say you didn’t say it, but we both know you said it.”

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Wait until you have adult problems, kid

Two teens on the 31 bus in Glover Park at 7:45 a.m.:

Boy: “Every time I get a whole book series from the library it just ends up being too much work and I don’t read the books.”
Girl: “Then get one book at a time.”
Boy: “Ugh, that’s a lot of work.”
Girl, emphatically: “LIFE is a lot of work!!!”

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Way to think this one through 

In front of the Capital Building, the day of the witness vote in the Senate impeachment trial, two guys in their mid-twenties—dressed in khakis, button up shirts, ties, and jackets, presumably staffers—are talking: 

Guy 1: “If I see a Republican senator next week, I’m just going to yell, SHAME!”
Guy 2: “Won’t you get fired for that?”
Guy 1: “Well, I’m not going to do it at work.”

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Would you though

Two young-20s young professional women walking, early evening in Dupont, near a bunch of restaurants on P Street: 

“I literally would DIE if Postmates did not service my area.”

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Pretty much

Monday night at Dito’s Bar, while watching the (lack of) Iowa Caucus returns, a young professional man turns to his friends and says:

“When is D.C.’s presidential primary? After the convention, I imagine?”

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As always, we rely on you to overheard the good stuff and send it our way. Make sure to tell us who was speaking to whom and in what context.