Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, and you can check out the archives here.

We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.

Sometimes it’s hard to keep track of all the newfangled workout trends, but this one sounds like it’s really worth a try.

Overheard of the Week:

Mid 30s man and women at DCA

Women: “Have you tried chair yoga? I’ve tried chair yoga. It’s good, but you sit a lot. I mean, still good.”

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Isn’t that why we’re all here?

A dad on FaceTime is showing his 3-year-old son the university building where he is attending a conference

Son: “Are you on a train?”
Dad: “No, I’m in a school.”
Son: “What you doing there?”
Dad: “What do you do at school?”
Son: *thinks briefly* “I eat chips.”
Dad: “Well, maybe I’m here to eat chips.”
Son: “Oh.”

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It’s all about which animals you know

In the waiting area of a restaurant

20-something hipster: “I want to further my career as a pet care assistant, and I’m not going to get there by being a dog walker”

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Over-under on whether she calls it the official name now?

A woman in her 30s or 40s was talking on her cellphone, sounding agitated, while waiting for her flight at DCA

Woman: “If they change the name of this airport to ‘Trump something,’ I am not going to call it that.”

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WHY WOULD YOU EVEN SAY THAT?!!??!?!!?

Two 20-something tourists with suitcases crossing 18th Street near Dupont Circle.

Tourist 1: “Americans just have NO CHILL”
Tourist 2: *nods in agreement*

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The new masculinity

Two 20-something dudes set their trays down at a table tucked into a quieter corner of Ballston Cava in the middle of Saturday lunch rush

Dude 1: “This seems like a good place to cry.”
Dude 2: “I didn’t know we were crying?”
Dude 1: “If you’re doing it right, you’re crying.”

A few minutes later, Dude 2 pulls a notebook out of his bag

Dude 2: “You don’t have an extra pen, do you.”
Dude 1: “Of course I have an extra pen. Who the fuck do you think I am?”

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Should have described it as “Western business attire” to get the message across

Outdoorsy-looking man and woman walking near the fountain at Dupont Circle

Woman: “Did he know it was a wedding?”
Man. “Yeah, I told him to wear business casual. Like, really nice business casual.”

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Sounds like someone can’t appreciate a little breeze

A group of three young guys walk out of the Gaylord in National Harbor with their luggage after Katsucon

Young Guy: “It actually feels good out here now that I’m fully clothed. It’s like a whole new world.”

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Luv 2 learn 

Three young people ride up to the Washington Monument on scooters

The one who seems be the guide of the expedition gestures to the monument and says, “You can see the two colors of stone. It was like ‘Something, something, they couldn’t finish it … then, they finished it!’”

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Giving Garden Staters a bad name

Overheard on the bus

“I’m from New Jersey so I don’t even eat sandwiches in this town”

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Probably a number two concern

Farragut North, lunchtime

“If she’s still shitting her pants she’s not gonna get into any quality preschool.”

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Not me, plants

A woman and a man with long hair in a bun are about to cross the intersection of Vermont Ave and R St on Tuesday around 8 p.m.

Woman: “Do you have any plants?”
Man: “I have one plant.”
Woman: “What’s its name?”
Man: “Bernie.”
Woman: “….Oh.”

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Overline

At Bier Baron before the “Mistakes Were Made!” comedy show

Woman in her 20s: “I’ve been good! So busy. I’ve basically been living on (whispers) Chick-fil-A. I know I’m not supposed to say that, but like, sorry, it’s true.”

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Get this person in touch with the aspiring pet assistant

Wednesday night on 13th St in Columbia Heights

Woman walking down the street talking on her cell phone: “Girl, Dog Whisperer ain’t got shit on me!”

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A classic case of medical malpractice

Two men chatting while walking down 14th St

Man 1: “So yeah, my doctor wrote me this prescription and told me to take it.”
Man 2: “So did it help?”
Man 1: “Well, when I went back to see him at my follow up, I told him that I don’t like taking medicine and so I didn’t take it. Then I told him that if he really thought it was important for me to take them, he should have told me.”

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Exactly

Two 30-something men are browsing in Kramerbooks

Man 1: “I saw this the other day and it made me think of you.”
Man 2: *Picking up the book* “Ghandi?”
Man 1: “Yeah!”
Man 2: “You know I’m an asshole, right?”

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