Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006. Check out the archives here.

We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.

This is the best Yelp review we’ve ever gotten.

Overheard of the Week

At Spa World:

Two women are changing back into their street clothes.

Woman 1: “I’ve forgotten what I was wearing when we got here.”
Woman 2: “I have forgotten about the entire concept of clothes.”

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There’s always Crystal City, kid

A woman wrangling 3 toddlers gets on an Orange Line train at Rosslyn headed into D.C. She shows the kids their travel path and reads out all the intermediary stops.

Kid (excited): “Are we going to get off at Foggy Bottom?!?”
Woman: “No, we’re going past it.”
Kid (crestfallen): “Aww, I really wanted to see Foggy Bottom.”

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I’m no psychiatrist but that’s not denial

20-something female in Francescas in Georgetown, on the phone with her friend: “Those are my two worst character flaws—denial, and hanging out with boys who are bad for me.”

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Spoken like a true guy with lots of friends!

Two males, late 40’s / 50’s at Safeway, shopping together in the produce section: 

Man 1: “I was just giving you some feedback to be helpful. I want to be your friend.”
Man 2: “You want to be MY friend? I don’t need any god damn friends.”

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Is this pro pool or anti pool? 

At Colony Club on Friday night:

Guy in 20’s at 10 p.m. still wearing his work suit and messenger bag while sitting on a stool declares: “I’m only learning to play pool if I’m single!”

Bar gets quiet and everyone looks around…

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Who needs Tinder?

Overheard at the bar in Clydes:

Early 20th something woman with a collar and lead on her neck to a 60ish ear old man in flannel and jeans: “I don’t even know your name.”
10 minutes later: Kissing at bar

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Oh good, because we didn’t have enough to worry about

Two school-aged women are walking in Georgetown: 

Woman 1 (while looking at her cell phone): “If you weren’t such a dry texter, you’d have totally lost your virginity by now.”

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Not a good idea in the time of social distancing, pal!

At Earth Treks climbing gym in Rockville on a Sunday afternoon:

Late-20s/early-30s dude to his friend tying in for a top rope climb: “I’m one of, like, five fiscal conservatives in my office. We tend to band together.”

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Gotta learn sometime

At the Friendship Heights Whole Foods:

Little girl: “Sometimes I lie.”
Dad: “What?”
Girl: “Sometimes I lie!”
Dad: “Well, you’re a kid. Kids lie. You know what, sometimes adults lie too.”

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As always, we rely on you to overheard the good stuff and send it our way. Make sure to tell us who was speaking to whom and in what context.