Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006. Check out the archives here.

We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context. You might notice we have fewer overheards than normal. We’re taking that as a sign that folks are staying home and socially distant—good job! But as a result, we are now taking submissions for eavesdropping on video conferencing calls and all of the other newfangled ways we’re staying in touch.

For those lucky enough to keep working from home, the change can often represent a huge adjustment. But at the end of the day, the tasks are not that different.

Overheard of the Week

Over a Zoom happy hour with friends, someone asks a very chill dude how his work-from-home experience has gone so far

Chill Dude: “Sometimes these business guys call me and they ask me questions. And I answer them.”

—

When you’re using a thesaurus in real-time

A couple of weeks ago, two guys in jackets are walking in the tunnels under Crystal City with a younger guy wearing a tie and jacket

Guy: “To be honest with you, the last few years have very much been a divergence from my planned career trajectory.”

—

But you have so many shared interests

Overheard on the Calvert Bridge from more than 6 feet away

“Mom, we don’t live in the same state. He lives in California. You have to stop trying to find people for me to date in different states. That’s not how it works.”

—

Or maybe it’s where he keeps his tarantula collection 

Two women who seem to be in their mid to late 20s exercising outside the Masonic Temple on 16th street.

Women 1: “And apparently when she slept over at his place—he has a two bedroom—he wouldn’t let her go in the other bedroom.”
Women 2: “Yeah, that’s because that’s where all the murdered women are!”

—

Hmm, that’s what Vegas is known for?

Two women in their twenties are walking on the Metropolitan Branch Trail near the NoMa Metro Station

Woman 1: “I’m just so tired of selling weed every day.”
Woman 2: “Well, you really wouldn’t like Vegas then!”

—

Really shouldn’t date someone with the same name as your dog