Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006. Check out the archives here.

We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context. 

You might notice we have fewer overheards than normal. We’re taking that as a sign that folks are staying home and socially distant — good job! But as a result, we are now taking submissions for eavesdropping on video conferencing calls and all of the other newfangled ways we’re staying in touch.

Overheard of the Week: 

Overheard at an early voting center on Wednesday:

Middle-aged man to the poll worker, emphatically: “Hello, I’d like to claim back my democracy.”

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Slightly concerning  

Overheard at a hair salon in Alexandria:

Customer: “Do you find it hard to cut hair while people are wearing masks?”
Hairstylist: “Oh yeah! I’ve cut a few masks off.”

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*Insert Kylie Jenner realizing things clip*

Two 25-year-old bros walking down Euclid Street NW, coming from 18th & Columbia: 

“You know … my laziness interferes with my ambition … like … all the time.”

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Fact check

A mom is on a Zoom happy hour in Adams Morgan while her 7-year-old kid is playing off to the side: 

Mom: “I’ve been making almond milk! It’s the easiest thing ever!”
Kid, to himself: “Ugh, not true. Walking is the easiest thing ever.”

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Aug. 18, 2017: Hmm

A late-20s or early-30s woman is talking to a man who’s a bit older at a bar on a Friday afternoon near Eastern Market:

Woman: “Then I left school to work for Bernie. I’ve worked on two of his campaigns over the years.”

(Then a few minutes later:)

Man: “What was the name of that weirdo from Vermont who ran in the last election?”
Woman: “Are you thinking of Gary Johnson?”

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Sept. 15, 2017: Hike

Two guys are watching Week One football:

Guy 1: “Here’s the rundown of human’s greatest inventions. 1: Bread. 2: Sliced bread. 3: Electricity. 4: iPhone. 5: NFL Redzone.”
Guy 2: “Vaccines are pretty good too, though.”

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Dec. 7, 2018: Avoid avoid!

A guy is discussing a work situation in a serious tone to a female colleague at The Line hotel: 

“I’m an asshole, but I’m also very sensitive … ”

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As always, we rely on you to overhear the good stuff and send it our way. Make sure to tell us who was speaking to whom and in what context.