Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006. Check out the archives here.
We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.
You might notice we have fewer overheards than normal. We’re taking that as a sign that folks are staying home and socially distant — good job! But as a result, we are now taking submissions for eavesdropping on video conferencing calls and all of the other newfangled ways we’re staying in touch.
Overheard of the Week:
A Foreign Service Officer reflecting on her domestic assignment at the U.S. Department of State:
“Sure, working in D.C. sucks, but at least I have no disposable income.”
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It’s the thought that counts
A man is shopping with his two small children at World Market in Falls Church:
Man: “What about a mixing bowl? Do you think she’d like that?”
Boy: “But she doesn’t cook!!”
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Unrequited love
A 30-something woman talking on the phone near the National Portrait Gallery:
“Peanut butter does not need jelly, BUT jelly NEEDS peanut butter!”
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Like that Right Said Fred song
A man talking on the phone on a quiet residential street:
“The problem is she was too sexy for you. You’re not used to being around sexy chicks.”
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A budding critic
A seven-year-old boy talking to his mom while eating pizza:
Mom to her husband: “He has an opinion about everything.”
Boy: “Not true!!”
Mom: “What’s one thing you don’t have an opinion on?”
Boy: [shrugs] “I dunno – what’s an opinion?”
The basics
Two employees outside an examination room at a doctor’s office:
February 24, 2017: Duuuude
Riding in an Uber pool:
Two 20-something guys who smell very strongly of weed get in.
Guy 1: “You know, there should be a Planet Earth show, but just about buildings!”
Guy 2: “Yeah, it could be from the perspective of aliens who are coming to Earth and seeing these buildings for the first time and thinking, ‘Well what are those?’”
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December 7, 2018: It’s the law!
At the Alexandria Scottish Walk:
Dad to young daughter: “We do this once a year to fulfill our bagpipe quota. Then we’re done.”
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October 11, 2019: Alrighty then
A 40-something woman is talking to a 50-something guy at a restaurant in Crystal City:
“I can tell a man’s income level by his manicure.”
