Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006. Check out the archives here.

We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context. 

You might notice we have fewer overheards than normal. We’re taking that as a sign that folks are staying home and socially distant — good job! But as a result, we are now taking submissions for eavesdropping on video conferencing calls and all of the other newfangled ways we’re staying in touch.

Overheard of the Week: 

In a resident’s home: 

Husband: “Olive Garden breadsticks aren’t that good.”
Wife: “They’re better than no breadsticks.”
Husband: “You’re not wrong.”

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March 6, 2020: The essentials! 

 A group of 20 somethings are discussing coronavirus on a Silver Line train heading into D.C.:

Guy 1: “I didn’t even think of Coachella!”
Girl: “Are you going?”
Guy 1: “Yeah, I go like every year.”
Guy 2: “Maybe you’ll get a refund.”

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March 6, 2020: Listen to Guy 2

At Joe and The Juice on 17th St., two twenty-somethings are probably talking about coronavirus:

Guy 1: “I’m not even worried. Look, I’m young, I can work from home. Worst case, I throw a little extra cash at Uber Eats.”
Guy 2: “That’s not how quarantines work.”

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March 20, 2020: Stocking up on necessities

At the Whole Foods in Old Town, amidst the coronavirus crisis, two women in their early 20s hastily survey the slim pickings left:

Woman, breathing a sigh of relief: “Oh, thank god. They still have wine.”

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March 20, 2020: Stocking up on necessities, part II

20-something woman is talking on the phone outside U Street Metro 

Woman: “I was at Trader Joe’s and that shit was insane all the shelves were empty. Also THERE’S NO PIZZA! HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO SURVIVE THE END OF DAYS WITHOUT PIZZA?!” (Waits for response from person on the phone.) “That’s basically me right now—my priorities are wine and carnations.”

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March 20, 2020: I’m rubber you’re glue. 

Two 20-something men are picking out organic yogurt at Trader Joe’s on Pennsylvania Ave SE for their already-full cart.

Man: “These people are all so sad. Look how dependent they are on the establishment.”

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