Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006. Check out the archives here.

We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context. 

You might notice we have fewer overheards than normal. We’re taking that as a sign that folks are staying home and socially distant — good job! But as a result, we are now taking submissions for eavesdropping on video conferencing calls and all of the other newfangled ways we’re staying in touch.

Overheard of the Week:

Two teenagers under an awning in Woodley Park during the recent D.C. thunderstorms. Boy’s phone alarm goes off.

Boy: “Flash flood warning.”
Girl: “I just mute my phone. I don’t need that kind of negative energy.”

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Why do we get so many Overheards from CVS?

Two women walking through a CVS in Georgetown:

One woman: “Yes, he did buy her the car but then he went and died in it!”
Other woman: “Oh, that’s right.”

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We love his confidence.

A couple in their early 20s looking directly at the Capitol from the National Mall:

Man: “The White House is a lot bigger than I thought it was!”
Woman: “That’s the White House?”
Man: “Yep!”

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A war as old as time

A 30-something woman to a cat that just tried to intimidate the dog she was walking in Petworth:

“You are a cat on the sidewalk!”

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Who’s gonna tell them?

People discussing July Fourth plans in a social DC Facebook group:

Person 1: “Hi! Best bar(s) to watch the 4th of July fireworks? It’s my first year in the area :)”
Person 2: “Bars are ridiculous on the 4th; I’d get yourself a flask and head to Malcolm X Park or the Armed Forces Retirement Home to watch them!”
Person 3: “Malcolm X Park is currently under construction, but Meridian Hill Park is open.”

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May 15, 2020: It’s called range
Two 20-something bros biking up the hill next to the Capitol building:

Bro 1: “He dresses like a rapper.”
Bro 2: “Dude, I was on his Twitter the other day!”
Bro 1: “Do you think he’ll dress that way when he’s a dentist?”

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January 11, 2019: Is this adulting?

On 14th Street on Saturday night:

20-something woman walking down the street, talking on her phone: “I feel like it was so adult of you, only having 5 drinks.”

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As always, we rely on you to overheard the good stuff and send it our way. Make sure to tell us who was speaking to whom and in what context.