Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006. Check out the archives here.

We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context. 

Given the state of the world in a pandemic, we are now taking submissions for eavesdropping on video conferencing calls and all of the other newfangled ways we’re staying in touch. 

Overheard in D.C.: 

A few coworkers are enjoying (enjoying a lot) at a happy hour at a wine bar in Rockville: 

Co-worker 1: “I went to the grocery store and there was absolutely no milk or eggs.”
Co-worker 2: “That’s God telling you it’s time for beer.”

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Sign of the times, etc.

In Pentagon City, an unmasked woman is yelling into a car:

Woman: “Brenda!! Oh my gosh! How long are you in town for?!”
Brenda:“Until the end of the weekend!”
Woman : “Hopefully my test comes back negative by then.”

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January 15, 2021: Sense of direction

A woman asks a grocery store clerk for directions in Old Town:

Clerk: “Yeah if you just pull around the corner, it’s right there and they’ll help.”
Woman: “I’m not from Old Town. I don’t know what corners mean.”

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February 7, 2020: What a time to be alive

Crossing M Street outside the Navy Yard Metro at Half Street SE 4 p.m. on a Saturday, a 20-something man and woman are talking:

Man: “There’s a Subway.”
Woman: “That’s a Subway cafe.”
Man: “Do they sell booze?”
Woman: “I think they sell coffee.”
Man: “I think they sell booze. Like a Taco Bell Cantina.”

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February 24, 2017: What did he know?

It’s a very busy day at the zoo, 73 degrees and basically everyone is there to say goodbye to Bao Bao. A Man (presumably dad), with young boy, about 6 years old, looking at a lone zebra standing in its pen:

“See, that’s better than seeing the panda.”

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March 20, 2020: Stocking up on necessities

20-something woman is talking on the phone outside U Street Metro: 

Woman: “I was at Trader Joe’s and that shit was insane all the shelves were empty. Also THERE’S NO PIZZA! HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO SURVIVE THE END OF DAYS WITHOUT PIZZA?!” (waits for response from person on the phone) “That’s basically me right now—my priorities are wine and carnations.”

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As always, we rely on you to overhear the good stuff and send it our way. Make sure to tell us who was speaking to whom and in what context.