Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006. Check out the archives here.

We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context. 

We are now also taking submissions for eavesdropping on video conferencing calls and all of the other newfangled ways we’re staying in touch. We’re also adding in some greatest hits from the Overheard archives.

Overheard of the Week: 

A group of women are having a fun dinner out, and one is looking at another woman’s phone:

Woman 1: “Isn’t that the guy whose number you got at the club?”

Woman 2: “Yes, he’s Kojo’s cousin! I thought he could get me tickets to Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me.”

–

Might we suggest a drawer?

Late 20s prep wandering around Navy Yard talking on his phone:

“I think that’s what I want to do before I leave … I just really wanna get all my socks in one place.”

—

This is an impossible decision

In National Harbor, a mother is bending down to talk to her 2-3 year-old toddler, who grabs her hand just as her husband walks off with another child:

“Okay, now do you want to go to the bookstore with daddy or to the wine store with me?”

–

#NotAllMen

Two bros, all decked out in Ole Miss gear at the #BansOffOurBodies March: 

Bro 1: “MY DUDE.”

Bro 2: “I know. What a waste of a weekend.”

–

Not sure if a literal or figurative reading of this is worse

A mid-30s man and woman in business attire are walking down Connecticut Avenue just below M Street:

Woman to man: “That’s what you get for dating outside your species.”

–

Love to shop the bins

Two young siblings are sorting through a bucket of gloves at the NoMa REI while their parents peruse the used gear section: 

Kid 1 to sibling: “We have power gloves! Now we can fight aliens, or each other!”

–

Triple threat! 

Two women descending the Dupont Circle metro escalator on a Friday evening:

One says to the other: “He’s gay, an orphan, and married. He absolutely rules!”

–

Forget the happily ever after 

At intermission of a high school production of Beauty and the Beast, a mom is in line for the restroom with her 7-year-old daughter, who is wearing a princess dress: 

Mom: “Don’t actually fall in love with someone who locks you up in a castle. Really, that’s a terrible idea.”

–

As the saying goes, the devil works hard but defense contractors work harder

Two bros brunching in Dupont, talking about potential career moves: 

One of them: “No, I don’t wanna work for a defense contractor—I’m not the devil!”

–

#Neverforget 

Three 65+aged tourists are examining the sign outside the Smithsonian Castle, near a “Journey Through Our Solar System” sign:

Woman tourist to companions: “Well. I prefer to think of Pluto as still a planet.”

As always, we rely on you to overhear the good stuff and send it our way. Make sure to tell us who was speaking to whom and in what context.