Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006. Check out the archives here.

We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context. 

We are now also taking submissions for eavesdropping on video conferencing calls and all of the other newfangled ways we’re staying in touch. We’re also adding in some greatest hits from the Overheard archives.

Overheard of the Week:

Two twenty-something women are walking together on MacArthur Blvd, in the Palisades, when one turns to the other and says:

“So I said to him ‘Quit doing cocaine. Nobody does that anymore. It’s passé.’”

—

Whatever you say

Girl in her late twenties talking loudly on her phone while walking along the sidewalk in Shaw: 

“I don’t have little dick energy, I have big dick energy!”

—

Truer words, truer words 

Two early 20-something women walking in Georgetown. One woman says to the other: 

“The thing about the randoms is that they are just SO random.”

—

The group chat the next morning might say otherwise

Young man walking with friends in Dupont Circle area:

“It’s Pride! I can’t be held responsible!”

—

It’s only June 17, let’s make it happen! 

Just before Pride Parade, outside Doozy Dog’s windows on 14th St looking in on all the pups

One of a group of very Pride-outfitted men: “Now that’s the parade *I* want to see!”

—

Online privacy is important

Guy leading some sort of Pride event: 

“Please let us know if you don’t want us to take pictures of you. We know people have security clearances and shit and can’t have pictures of themselves on the internet.”

—

Get your due 

At Pop’s SeaBar in Adams Morgan, three women in their early 30s are loudly discussing their sex lives and swapping R-rated stories of infidelity and other juicy matters. As their evening wound down, one woman (who incidentally announced she was going to try to get pregnant starting in August) said:

“My husband owes me flowers and a vibrator.”

—

A flawless argument, IMO 

A father and pre-teen daughter riding bikes through Walter Pierce Park in Adams Morgan: 

Father: “You’ve been waking up late because you’ve been going to bed late.”
Daughter, matter of factly: “If you go to bed late and wake up late it’s the same as going to bed early and waking up early.”
Father: (eyes roll)

—

More like *unluck* of the DRAWERS amiright

A family is leaving Tony Cheng’s in Chinatown and the son notices a pair of pants lying inside out on the sidewalk:

Dad: “Sometimes people lose their pants.”
Son: “Why?”
Dad: “Just the luck of the draw.”

—

We never grow out of this 

Mom and 9ish-year-old son walking together at the Wharf: 

Mom, speaking with exasperation in her voice: “I am not lending you any money! You have books you haven’t read yet!”

—

Neither, try asking a question instead!

A buff guy overheard in D.C.: 

“If you do crossfit AND you’re vegan, WHICH do you talk about first?!?”

—

Real zinger

A Georgetown student overheard at Foxtrot: 

“I always say people at Georgetown have yacht loads of money. Not boatloads, yacht loads.”

—

Survival mode only at the airport

On a flight boarding at DCA between a young mom and what appears to be her teenage daughter. 

Mom: “Do you have any socks with you?”
Daughter: “I only have dirty ones.”
Mom: “…How dirty are they?”

—

As always, we rely on you to overhear the good stuff and send it our way. Make sure to tell us who was speaking to whom and in what context.