Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006. Check out the archives here.

We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context. 

We are now also taking submissions for eavesdropping on video conferencing calls and all of the other newfangled ways we’re staying in touch. We’re also adding in some greatest hits from the Overheard archives.

Overheard of the Week: 

On a warm and humid day, four men in their mid-to-late 30s are taking a stroll at the National Zoo. A child can be heard crying and screaming very loudly in the vicinity: 

[Man, to his friends]: “Yeah, they should have a ‘No Small Children Day’ at the Zoo…”

[The three friends all nod in unison.]

–

Make it make sense

At the Takoma platform during a Thursday morning commute:

A man’s deep, resonant voice over the loudspeaker: “The little baby is back. The little baby is here. The little baby is well.”

–

The heat is getting to all of us

A 20-year-old salesperson at the South Moon Under boutique in Georgetown: 

She sweetly sings to her colleague: “I am so completely full of hatred for you right now.”

–

True love

A couple sitting at an empty picnic table at the Georgetown park:

Man: “You going to pull out your book?”

Woman: “I have to find out what happens on the space ship!”

Man nods.

Woman: “Thank you for accepting me.”

–

It’s D.C., so…

A family of tourists getting seated at Joe’s Stone Crab near the White House on a Saturday night: 

Eight-year-old boy: “Will we see any of the January 6 people from the TV here tonight?”

Dad, excitedly:  “I hope so! Maybe!”

–

In gay years

A group of three men and one woman are walking around in Dupont discussing the anniversary of their various coming outs.

Woman: “Okay, so we missed the decade. We’ll do the next one. What’s a gay number of years?”

–

 We’re capitalists and that’s just the way it is 

A group of tourists crossing Constitution Ave NW at the National Mall: 

“This is prime real estate. I wonder how the Smithsonian got it.”

–

Geography was never my strong suit

A young woman on the phone at Reagan National waiting for her flight to Detroit.

Woman on the phone: “I can’t go to Canada because there’s not enough time.”

Pause.

Women again: “Do you think I should go to Toledo? Toledo — you know, Toledo. On the border with Canada.”

As always, we rely on you to overhear the good stuff and send it our way. Make sure to tell us who was speaking to whom and in what context.