Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006. Check out the archives here.

We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context. 

We are now also taking submissions for eavesdropping on video conferencing calls and all of the other newfangled ways we’re staying in touch. 

Overheard of the Week: 

A 20-something-year-old woman walks into a local bank branch in Arlington:

Young woman: “I don’t know what it’s called, but I need something where you can give money to someone. It’s like a rectangle piece of paper.”
Clerk: “You mean a check?”

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Your wish is our command! 

Two girls leaving the Lady Gaga concert after the encore: 

Girl, to her friend: “I am not above peeing on the streets of DC. You can quote me on that.”

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Sorry, get what?

Woman in the restroom after the Lady Gaga concert to her friend one sink over:

“One, it is SO hot. Two, we HAVE to find a place where I can get some chicken tendies.”

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As they say, normie-ness is in the eye of the beholder

Four friends in about their late-20s at Red Derby:

“I’ve never worked with someone who is strictly normal. Like he’s normal but in a weird way.”

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Can’t confirm

A group of teenage girls are at a concert at the Navy Memorial, talking about men and astrology:

One girl: “Capricorn men suck. Sagittarius men are just awful.”

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The original “dnt txt” 

After someone’s cell phone rang during a match at Citi Open, an older woman scolds a younger woman sitting near her:

Older Woman: “How disrespectful — silence your phone!”
Younger Woman: “Lady, I haven’t had my ringer on since the 1990s. I couldn’t turn the ringer on if I tried.”

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As opposed to former days, where it was her ascension 

A young woman talking to another young woman walking up 15th St. near Q St. NW: 

“Honestly, nowadays, chugging wine is my downfall.”

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DAMN. HUMBLE(D). 

Leaving the Kendrick Lamar show at Capital One Arena in a huge crowd of mostly mask less people, a 20-something guy loudly says to friend:

“This is it, this is where I get COVID.”

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As always, we rely on you to overhear the good stuff and send it our way. Make sure to tell us who was speaking to whom and in what context.